


intertwined with mine

by Idnis



Category: Harry Potter - J. K. Rowling
Genre: Bonding, Deamus, M/M, Magical Bond, aww yeh, it's a bonding fic, where it hurts to be apart
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-12-24
Updated: 2018-01-10
Packaged: 2019-02-19 12:59:18
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 6
Words: 22,727
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/13124229
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Idnis/pseuds/Idnis
Summary: ‘And now you’re... bonded?’‘We think,’ Dean said. ‘Because it hurts whenever we're apart for too long.’Out of context that sounded extremely dramatic.





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> Hello everyone!
> 
> Writing my first Deamus fic a month ago had me convinced that I definitely needed to write another. So here it is, a deamus fic featuring a very popular trope:  
> 'oh no we're bonded what now'
> 
> I hope you enjoy!

Dean wasn’t bad at walking.  
Even when it had been snowing.

But his best friend and life-long crush Seamus was.  
Especially when it had been snowing.

Shouts sounded behind him, and Dean slowly turned around to ask what was the matter when he saw Seamus sliding down the hill leading towards Hagrid’s hut.  
The only thing blocking him from a smooth slide down was  
Dean.

‘Move! Run! Run!’ Seamus was shouting,  
and Dean blinked,  
one second of perfect clarity,  
before Seamus collided harshly with him.

He fell face first on the ground, automatically holding out his hands to cushion his fall, but his head collided with a rock with a harsh _crack_ that sounded sickening in Dean’s mind. Then everything faded.

⇄  
  
Dean sure enough recognised the Hospital wing.   
  
Its view was quickly obscured by Seamus’ face though.   
Happiness and knee-buckling relief filled Dean.

‘You’re awake!’ Seamus exclaimed loudly, a relieved smile spreading across his slightly blurry face.  
  
Dean blinked to try and erase the blur, but his vision remained hazy.   
  
‘I don’t… see you clearly,’ Dean tried.   
Talking was also difficult. Like his tongue suddenly weighed tons more.   
  
‘Am I a looker now?’ Seamus grinned.   
  
Dean laughed tiredly.   
_You always are.  
_   
The sound of heels clicking on the floor approached them, and Dean heard Madam Pomfrey telling Seamus to get lost.   
  
‘You’ve done enough damage as is,’ she scolded him.   
  
Even though his vision was still blurred, Dean somehow knew Seamus was gone, a strangely hollow feeling filling his chest.   
It was a stark contrast with the happiness and relief he’d felt earlier.   
  
‘Sorry, Mr. Thomas,’ Pomfrey said. ‘But you’re going under again.’

‘‘S okay,’ Dean mumbled. ‘Wake me when Seamus’s here.’

He didn’t hear her reply.  
  
⇄

Dean woke up to an uncomfortable pain in his chest and left arm. He groaned as he tried to sit up, looking for Madam Pomfrey, but it was darker now and his vision was still blurred around the edges.  
  
The pain didn’t go away however.

It only got worse,  
and Dean’s left arm started itching, not in the way it normally did when he wanted to pick up a pencil to sketch,  
but like it had been burnt.   
  
‘Madam-’ Dean tried, but his throat was intensely dry after not drinking for who knows how long.   
  
He fell back onto his bed again.   
  
The pain was now very uncomfortable.   
He had no idea how he was going to get through the night. Turning onto his side, Dean tried to get comfortable, to maybe sleep some more,  
when his eye fell on the sleeping draught on his nightstand.

Oh thank goodness.

Dean reached out with his uncomfortably itchy left hand and knocked back the draught.  
  
The pain was still present when his eyes started feeling heavy, and it was still uncomfortable when he eventually fell asleep.   
  
⇄

Uncomfortable  
was an understatement when Dean woke up again.   
  
Because light assaulted his eyes, he concluded it was morning, but that was about as far as his conscious got before he groaned in pain, curling in on himself to stop it from hurting.   
  
His left arm however didn’t cooperate anymore, lying oddly beside his body, feeling cold and stiff.   
It would probably concern him more if he wasn’t so focused on desperately trying to stop himself from hurting.   
  
‘What are you feeling right now?’   
  
Madam Pomfrey’s urgent voice sounded through the pained haze.

‘Pain,’ Dean groaned.

‘Can you tell me where?’  
  
‘Every-’ Dean started,  
but then he heard hurried footsteps,  
felt impatience and concern,  
and somehow, through the haze, saw Seamus running towards him.

It must be some kind of miracle, because the pain slowly lessened.  
  
‘You need to leave, Mr. Finnegan,’ Madam Pomfrey said, shielding Dean slightly with her body. ‘He’s having a fit of some sort.’

‘No,’ Dean managed, trying to sit up. His left arm still wasn’t cooperating though. ‘No, it’s getting better.’  
  
Madam Pomfrey turned on him with a skeptical look in her eyes.   
Dean realized with a start that the blur had also vanished.  
  
‘Really?’   
  
‘It’s just my arm now,’ Dean said.   
  
‘Can you move it?’ Seamus asked, stepping around Madam Pomfrey and sitting on the chair next to Dean’s bed.   
  
‘Don’t think so,’ Dean said, trying to make a fist with his hand.   
His fingers twitched, but otherwise didn’t move.

Seamus looked at them in concern.  
‘They’re not really moving.’   
  
Madam Pomfrey sighed.   
‘Is the pain gone, Mr. Thomas?’   
  
‘No, still there in my left arm.’ Dean said. ‘It’s just bearable now.’

‘I’ll try to find something against the stiffness,’ Madam Pomfrey said. ‘Try moving your hand some more.’

With that she left.

Try as Dean might, he couldn’t really move his fingers more than an awkward wiggle.  
  
‘What happened?’ he asked instead.   
  
Seamus shifted on his chair, obviously uncomfortable.   
‘Me an’ Neville were goofing around, but then he accidentally pushed me and I tripped. Collided with you. You fell pretty badly, there was like this huge gash on your forehead, mate. I tried to patch you up, but-’   
  
‘Wait,’ Dean interrupted him. ‘You tried to patch me up? You don’t know any healing spells.’

‘I panicked!’ Seamus exclaimed. ‘You were bleeding heavily an’ I thought you were going to die or something. So I just pointed my wand at you... Can’t really remember anything else, ‘part from this bright orange light. But the bleeding didn’t stop.’

‘You just pointed your wand at me?’   
Dean had trouble keeping up with Seamus’ logic.  
‘You do know you usually blow things up when you point your wand at them, right?’   
  
‘I know,’ Seamus looked down at Dean’s hand, and there was a sadness in his eyes that Dean had never seen before. It looked horrible, and he wished he hadn’t argued about this. ‘I was just scared. Like I said... I don’t want you to be… gone, y’know?’

Something clenched inside Dean, and he felt a terrible sadness wash over him.  
  
‘I’m here though,’ Dean said. ‘So you must’ve done something right.’

‘Yeah,’ Seamus smiled, but it was still a sad smile.

Still, making an effort to be cheerful again, Seamus reached out and bumped Dean’s left hand with his own.    
  
‘Mate, that was the worst fistbump ever,’ Seamus commented. ‘You’ve got to try harder than that.’

Dean wanted to reply, but something strange had happened when Seamus had touched his hand.

Feeling flooded back into Dean’s fingers, slowly but surely.  
When Dean tried to move them now, they could almost bend all the way.  
  
‘Do that again!’ Dean said to Seamus.

So Seamus reached out and bumped their fists together again.  
This time, Dean could almost return the gesture.   
  
‘Woah,’ Dean said. ‘I can feel my arm again. It happened right after you touched me.’

‘For real?’   
  
Seamus reached out, but instead of bumping their fists together, simply laid his hand on top of Dean’s.   
  
Feeling,  
warm and tingly,  
burst through Dean’s hand and shot through his arm,  
and Dean suspected he could move everything again if he tried.

‘How’s that?’ Seamus asked.

And all of a sudden, the situation was brought to the forefront of Dean’s mind.

They were holding hands.

A blush spread across Dean’s cheeks, and his stomach swirled.  
_It’s wonderful._ _  
_   
‘Better,’ he said instead, not meeting Seamus’ eyes. ‘I think I can move it again.’

When Seamus pulled his hand back, Dean’s arm felt colder, but when he tried to move it,  
it cooperated completely.   
He pushed himself upright.   
  
‘Alright. Thanks.’   
  
‘No problem, mate.’

‘So,’ Dean started. ‘You have no idea what kind of spell you hit me with?’

Seamus sighed miserably.

‘No clue.’

Suddenly his eyes widened.  
‘Think that,’ he nodded to Dean’s arm. ‘Had something to do with the spell?’

‘Could be,’ Dean mused,  
but he felt like that might also be an understatement.

⇄  
  
‘If all goes well tonight, you can leave tomorrow.’   
  
Dean trusted Madam Pomfrey to know what was right for him, but still, he dreaded waking up in the evening to the mysterious, uncomfortable pain.   
  
‘Can you leave a sleeping draught on my nightstand again?’ he asked.

⇄

And was glad for it.

Because again, Dean’s eyes flew open, only to see vaguely in the darkness.

His body was hurting and aching,  
a mysterious pain that made him feel hollow,  
made him want to curl up,  
and his left arm was lying uselessly on the bed.   
Awkwardly pushing himself up, he tried to reach for the draught, but a shock of pain made his body spasm and he lost his balance, nearly toppling out of bed.   
  
Dean sobbed, but gritted his teeth and tried again, hand stretching towards the draught when-  
Someone gave it to him.   
  
Frantic as he was to drink it, Dean didn’t register who it was until he’d chucked the potion down.   
  
Eyes wide and frightened,  
Seamus was sitting next to the bed, wearing his pyjamas, and his hand was grasping Dean’s tightly.   
  
Only now did Dean notice that his pain was already receding,   
but before he could comment on it, he fell asleep again.   
  
⇄

‘Think you’re up to going back to your lessons?’ Pomfrey asked.  
  
‘Yeah…’

She laid his clothes on the bed.   
‘So last night went okay?’

The only thing Dean remembered about last night was panic  
pain  
and then the pain receding when Seamus had held his hand.   
Which sounded absurd, because where had Seamus come from?   
It had probably been a fever dream.

‘Yep,’ Dean said cheerfully.   
  
⇄  
  
The relief Dean felt when he saw Seamus was unnaturally strong,  
but he thought he saw it echoed in Seamus’ smile as well.

‘Good to have you back, mate.’

‘Thanks for hexing me into the hospital in the first place,’ Dean teased.

‘Naw, no problem,’ Seamus grinned, and together they started walking towards their Charms lesson. ‘Hope you enjoyed the few days off.’

Dean laughed.  
‘It was nice, but please don’t do it again.’

‘I’ll say,’ Neville added, joining them. ‘Gave us all a good fright there.’

‘Yeah, it’s different without you in our room,’ Seamus nodded.  
  
‘You mean without someone telling you you should go to bed?’  Dean teased,  
but it felt oddly nice to be missed.  
  
⇄  
  
The strangest thing, however, happened a few days later.   
  
Dean was out practicing with Ginny, partly because he felt like getting some fresh air and partly because he missed flying.  
They were just chasing each other around, a bit of horseplay at the end of their practice before they needed to get back to the castle, when Dean’s left arm suddenly started hurting _badly_.

Just like in the hospital, Dean’s control over it quickly lessened, until his arm just hung painfully against the side of body.

‘Dean!’ Ginny yelled in concern, already flying towards him. ‘Are you okay?’  
  
Dean grit his teeth against the waves of pain assaulting his body.   
‘No.’   
  
‘Let’s get down.’

Ginny grabbed his broom with one hand and together, they slowly flew to the ground.

Stepping off his broom, Dean nearly fell to his knees from the pain, but Ginny quickly supported him, throwing his right arm over her shoulder.

‘We’re going to the hospital wing,’ she said, trying to sound reassuring, but Dean could tell she was stressed. ‘Madame Pomfrey’ll know what to do.’

Dean wasn’t so sure.

If only Seamus could hold his hand or something.  
That seemed to work last time.

⇄

It was like Dean had used _accio_ , because while they were walking on the staircases, Seamus came running their way, eyes wide in panic as he saw the way Dean was slumped against Ginny.   
  
It seemed like too much of a coincidence, but Dean didn’t know what else it could be.

‘Can you support his other side?’ Ginny asked, voice sounding strained from holding Dean upright. ‘We’ll get him to Pomfrey. Be careful, that side’s painful.’

And then the strangest thing happened.  
  
When Seamus gripped Dean’s left arm, draping it over his shoulder, all the pain seemed to leave Dean’s body, and he could once again move his arm.

Now, Seamus finding them had been a lucky coincidence,  
but Seamus relieving Dean’s pain every time he touched him probably wasn’t.

Dean sighed in relief at the absence of pain, subconsciously slumping against Seamus.

‘What happened?’ Ginny asked frantically.

‘I think…’ Seamus said slowly, like he was also figuring out what Dean just realized. ‘That he’s passed out.’

Or not.

‘I’m not passed out,’ Dean protested weakly. ‘Doesn’t hurt anymore.’

‘It doesn’t?’ Ginny asked in surprise. ‘Do you think you can stand?’

Dean really wanted to lean against Seamus for a bit longer, but that was bordering on creepy, so he said,  
‘Yeah, think so.’

They both released him carefully, like he was a toddler who just learned how to stand, but Dean managed.

‘I’m okay,’ he said, trying to smile reassuringly.

He was met with two tight faces, looking at him in concern.   
Yeah, if Dean was them, he would probably be worried too.

‘Let’s go to the common room,’ he proposed.  
  
The entire way there, he felt Ginny and Seamus watching his back apprehensively. When he let himself fall on the couch near the common room’s fireplace, they finally seemed to relax.

‘Alright,’ Ginny said, leaning forward. Because she was sitting next to him, she was all the more difficult to ignore. ‘Tell me what that was.’

‘Um,’ Dean said nervously.   
  
‘‘Twas my fault,’ Seamus immediately spoke up. ‘Crashed into him outside and panicked when I saw he’d nearly broken his head, so I shot a spell at him.’

‘What spell?’

‘Dunno.’

‘Excuse me?’ Ginny asked, perplexed.

Seamus nervously ran a hand through his hair, which made it stand up a bit.  
It looked ridiculously cute, and Dean’s heart jumped inside his chest.

Seamus gave him a strange look, before replying, ‘I mean, I don’t know. I just fired something at ‘im, thinking how I wanted the wound to close.’

‘Huh,’ Ginny said,  
and Dean could tell from the expression on her face that she was lost in thought.

‘And after the spell, Dean got random bursts of pain?’ Ginny asked a moment later.

‘Yep,’ Dean nodded.

‘But why did it stop?’

Oh, this was the awkward part.  
  
‘I think it’s because Seamus touched me- my hand,’ Dean stammered.  
  
‘Really?’ Seamus asked in surprise.   
  
Oh, he really hadn’t figured it out.

Nodding, Dean couldn’t quite meet his eyes, feeling a blush creeping onto his cheeks.  
He thanked his darker skin for making it more difficult to see if he was blushing.   
Too bad Seamus knew him inside out.

‘Guess I got a magic touch,’ Seamus laughed.  
  
Dean blushed madly,  
but made appropriate gasping noises that could pass for laughing.   
  
⇄

‘Mate,’ Seamus whispered in the darkness. ‘You still awake?’

Dean turned to face Seamus.

‘Yeah,’ he whispered back.

‘D’you reckon it had something to do with my spell?’

‘The pain?’  
  
‘I meant me touchin’ you, but now that you mention it...’

Dean sighed.   
  
Seamus was quiet for a while, and Dean was already drifting off to sleep before Seamus finally asked,  
‘Does it hurt now?’

‘No.’

‘Oh…’

Dean’s mind was already spiralling down into sleepy, barely formed thoughts before Seamus’ voice startled him awake again.  
  
‘You wake me up when it starts hurting, yeah?’   
  
‘Yeah,’ Dean murmured sleepily.

⇄  
  
But it didn’t.   
  
Dean woke up the next morning feeling better than ever.   
Relief flooded him, the same knee-buckling, all encompassing relief like before.   
It felt strangely out of place.   
  
When he turned towards his trunk, he saw Seamus watching him.   
That was strange.   
It was normally the other way around.   
  
‘Good morning,’ Dean said.

Startled out of his staring, Seamus gave Dean a big, bright smile.

‘Morning, mate! Feeling okay?’

‘Never been better,’ Dean smiled.

‘Knew it,’ Seamus said, and he sounded _very_ relieved.   
  
⇄  
  
‘Where’re you going?’ Seamus asked, peering over the top of his book at Dean, who was collecting all his pencils, putting them back into his case.

‘Flying with Ginny,’ Dean replied, clicking his pencil case shut and moving to his feet.   
  
A sudden feeling of unease filled his mind, and he wondered why.   
  
‘Sure yer going to be alright?’ Seamus asked, sounding uneasy.

Dean narrowed his eyes.  
Something about this seemed a little too coincidental.  
  
‘Mate?’ Seamus pressed, and he really did seem nervous and worried, fingers pulling at his sleeves.   
  
‘Yeah, I’m sure,’ Dean replied. ‘I’ll only be gone an hour or what.’

Yet Seamus still looked at him like he wanted to ask something.  
  
After a minute, Dean felt a bit awkward standing there for so long, in complete silence,  
so he took a hesitant step towards the exit.  
  
‘Oh,’ Seamus called out after him, and Dean turned around expectantly. ‘Want me to, er, touch you?’

 _Oh sweet death._ _  
_ Dean already saw the headlines.   
“Student at Hogwarts killed by burst of hormones”   
  
‘W-what?’ he stammered.

‘I mean yer hand,’ Seamus said quickly. ‘Since I made the pain go away an’ all that.’

 _Yes_ , Dean’s heart swooned.   
But there was a reason Dean didn’t listen to his heart all that often.

‘It’s not hurting right now though.’

‘Good, good,’ Seamus nodded anxiously.  
  
Dean saw there was a faint pinkish tint to his cheeks and felt his heart do a flip inside his chest.   
Seamus was concerned about him, wanted to help him, and Dean was turning him down?

‘But I guess it couldn’t hurt…’ he said slowly.

Seamus sat up excitedly.  
‘Yeah, for good luck an’ all that, yeah?’   
  
Feeling incredibly nervous, Dean walked over to Seamus, who was already holding out his hand.   
Dean swallowed.  
Right.

He was sure Seamus saw his hand shaking as he reached out, but if he did then he didn’t comment on it.

Dean grabbed Seamus’ hand carefully,  
and then they were holding hands again, for the second time in a month.  
  
Dean’s heart was pounding wildly in his chest as he tried not to notice too much,  
as he tried not to watch Seamus’ face, or their hands.   
  
Then Seamus brushed his thumb softly against Dean’s knuckles and the sensation _shot_ through Dean’s body with an electricity that was totally inappropriate for the moment.   
  
Dean instantly took back his hand.

‘Thanks,’ he said quickly, not meeting Seamus’ eyes.

‘Good luck flying with Ginny,’ Seamus said happily.  
  
Dean took that as his cue to not quite run out of the common room.   
  
⇄ 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you so much for reading! I hope this is good so far :) 
> 
> If you want, let me know what you thought about it, what you liked, etc! 
> 
> Until the next chapter <3  
> AND MERRY CHRISTMAS !


	2. Chapter 2

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hello people!
> 
> Another chapter, because it's the holidays and I'm getting a fair amount of writing done every day! 
> 
> Enjoy :)

Ginny also looked nervous, playing with the velcro band on her glove, repeatedly fastening and unfastening it.   
  
‘Ready to go?’ Dean asked.

‘Yeah!’ Ginny grinned. ‘Let’s see if you can handle my newest manoeuvre.’   
  
‘I’m sure I can’t,’ Dean replied. ‘But I’m going to try anyway.’

And they both shot up in the air.

⇄  
  
When Dean’s feet touched the ground again, an hour later, he was relieved to find that aside from a slight tingle in his left arm, he was feeling fine.   
  
‘Alright,’ Ginny grinned. ‘That was a good practice. Let’s change.’   
  
Dean nodded, ignoring the tingle for now.   
  
⇄

At the castle, Dean said goodbye to Ginny before heading off to the library to cram in a little more studying.   
  
During their walk back, his arm had started tingling weirdly, and now it was growing even more uncomfortable.    
Yet Dean stubbornly searched through the bookcases, ignoring the way his skin felt like it was stretched too tightly over his bones.   
  
But after only an hour of taking notes, holding his quill became too difficult.

Dean saw his hand shaking,  
and recognized the feeling creeping up his arm as he watched his hand lose its grip on the quill. 

It clattered against the table, and fell on the floor.

Gritting his teeth against the pain, Dean tried to pick it up again, but  
he couldn’t move a muscle.  
His arm was truly dead.

The room swayed when Dean stood up  
and he had to focus on moving his body despite the pain.

His breathing became laboured as he slowly took the steps up towards the Gryffindor common room.   
It felt like it took over an hour to even get to the portrait,    
his arm itching, burning,  
the pain now also spreading to his shoulders and back.   
  
Dean barely managed to say the password,  
before climbing awkwardly through the portrait, all but falling into the common room.

He just hoped S-

‘Dean!’    
  
Seamus came running towards him.   
‘Is it the pain again?’

Dean nodded, subconsciously moving his left arm closer.

But it seemed Seamus had the same idea, because he was already reaching for Dean’s hand, clasping it tightly.

It should hurt,  
but it didn’t.

It felt amazing.

The pain seeped out of him, and it became easier to breathe,  
to think again.

‘Better?’ Seamus asked, voice small. 

Looking up, Dean saw the concern and panic clearly on Seamus’ face, threatening to spill.   
  
‘Yeah,’ he breathed, still catching his breath. ‘Better.’

‘What happened?’ Seamus asked quietly.

‘Was in the library. My arm started hurting again.’

Seamus’ thumb started rubbing softly over Dean’s knuckles.

‘Just like that?’    
  
‘Um,’ Dean said, getting distracted. ‘No- No, it started tingling at first.’

Seamus’ thumb was now stroking the back of Dean’s hand.

Dean’s cheeks felt like they were on fire.   
  
‘Mm…’ Seamus said, and when Dean glanced at him, saw he was watching their hands.  ‘Something’s triggering it.’

‘Yeah, I think so too.’

‘But what?’  Seamus mused, more to himself than Dean. ‘This feels good, yeah?’

_ Incredible _ .

‘Yeah,’ Dean replied.

‘Strange,’ Seamus said.

To Dean it really wasn’t so strange that holding hands with Seamus would feel like the best thing that’d ever happened to him,  
but that probably wasn’t what Seamus meant.

‘Yeah, strange,’ Dean echoed.   
  
⇄

‘Maybe it’s the flying,’ Seamus said at 7 in the morning, practically pushing Dean out of bed with his enthusiasm. ‘Let’s try an’ see if that’s it.’    
  
‘Lemme… wakup,’ Dean mumbled, hands clutching his blanket for dear life.    
  
‘No, mate, let’s go!’    
  
Groaning, Dean tried to burrow himself deeper into his blankets.    
Though Seamus was always energetic, even when it was early, he normally never woke up at  _ this _ ungodly hour.   
  
‘You can carry me,’ Dean muttered into the blankets.   
  
‘What’s that?’ Seamus asked. ‘Was that permission to tickle you?’   
  
Dean’s eyes flew open in shock,  
but hands were already pinching him through the blankets, attacking his stomach and sides with a deadly accuracy.   
  
Squirming and laughing, Dean threw his blanket off and yelled,  
‘Okay, I’m up!’ 

Ron groaned.  
‘Yeah thanks mate. Now we  _ all _ are.’

‘No,’ Neville said. ‘I think Harry’s still asleep.’

They all looked in silence at Harry, who apparently had fallen asleep with his glasses on, because they sat askew on his sleeping face.  
He looked totally out of it.

Seamus snorted.  
‘We’ll go quietly, okay?’

‘Must’ve taken a Sleeping Draught,’ Ron mumbled, looking in concern at Harry. ‘Strong stuff.’

‘Try shouting at him,’ Neville suggested. ‘If he wakes up, it wasn’t a Sleeping Draught.’

Ron looked at Neville like that was the worst idea ever.   
  
⇄

Standing on the quidditch pitch, Dean wondered if this was the worst idea ever.    
  
Deliberately seeking out the place where he’d gotten those pains,  _ twice _ now, made Dean feel like three times was the charm, and this time he’d lose his arm for real.    
  
Still, Dean enjoyed flying with Seamus, and before he knew it, an hour had passed already.    
  
Seamus flew towards him.

‘Has it started hurting yet?’

‘No,’ Dean said in surprise, having maybe forgotten why they were here in the first place. ‘And last time, it started tingling after an hour or so.’

Seamus frowned down at Dean’s arm, like that held all the answers.    
  
‘So it’s not the flying…’

‘Guess not. But that’s good news anyway,’ Dean smiled. ‘Means I can practice with Ginny without worrying.’

⇄

It did not mean that Dean could practice with Ginny without worrying, because after an hour, the uncomfortable tingling returned.    
  
Dean’s steps were hurried as he made his way back to the common room, where Seamus was reading a newspaper.   
Or more accurately, reading the sports’ section.   
  
When he saw Dean, Seamus dropped the paper and immediately sat up, looking worried.   
  
It must’ve transferred to Dean, because a wave of unease and worry washed over him. 

Or it was the fact that Dean had a sinking suspicion what may be the actual cause of his pain.

‘What’s wrong?’ Seamus said, scooting back to make space for Dean on the couch.

It was so awkward to explain.  
Dean felt his blush returning, so instead of answering, he reluctantly held up his left hand.

Seamus immediately grabbed it.

‘No good, huh?’

‘No,’ Dean sighed.

‘So it’s not the flying, but whatever it is, you can’t do it with Ginny.’

‘I think I know,’ Dean said quietly, because when Seamus phrased it like that, it was pretty obvious. ‘I think I can’t be away from you for too long.’

Seamus watched him in silence for a few seconds.  
Blinked.  
Watched him some more.  
Blinked.  
Then.

‘ _ What? _ ’   
  
‘I suspected it when you told Ginny. About how you flung the curse at me, desperately thinking you wanted the wound to close. But that’s not exactly what you thought, is it? You probably just repeated “ _ close close close close” _ over and over again.’

Seamus’ eyes grew large.

‘Yeah,’ Dean nodded miserably. ‘I don’t know what exactly happened, but I’m guessing you must’ve hit me with some kind of bonding spell. The wrong kind.’

‘ _ Shite _ ,’ Seamus said.

It  _ was _ ,  
but still it hurt a bit to know Seamus thought this was awful.    
It  _ was _ awful, Dean repeated to himself.  
But if he was being honest, of all the people he could’ve been ‘bonded’ to, Seamus wasn’t the worst.   
They did a lot of things together anyway.   
  
Dean was startled out of his thoughts by Seamus’ thumb stroking his hand.  
  
It seemed Seamus was unaware that he was doing it however.

‘So what now?’ Seamus asked.

Dean had no idea.

‘We could go to Madam Pomfrey again?’

‘Good idea.’

Dean looked at their joined hands.

It  _ was _ a good idea,  
but it sounded like a bad one at the same time.   
  
⇄  
  
Madam Pomfrey was quite shocked.

‘You just  _ threw _ a spell at him?’

‘Uhh.’ Seamus nervously ran a hand through his hair. ‘Yeah.’

The look on Madam Pomfrey’s face was one Dean had never seen before.

‘And now you’re... bonded?’

‘We think,’ Dean said. ‘Because it hurts whenever we’re apart for too long.’

Out of context that sounded extremely dramatic.

After an incredibly long and pained sigh, Madam Pomfrey took out her wand.  
‘Let’s see what I can do then.’

⇄  
  
Neville looked from Dean to Seamus.   
  
‘So nothing, basically?’

‘Well,’ Dean said awkwardly. ‘Sort of.’

Surprisingly, Neville had been the only one to notice something was wrong.    
He hadn’t pried, but Seamus always had a hard time keeping quiet, and Dean knew his frustrations would burst out of him in a word flow that wouldn’t stop for quite some time.   
  
Neville had listened quietly.

‘What’re you going to do now?’ Neville asked.

‘I’m not gonna let him out of my sight,’ Seamus immediately answered.

‘That’s unrealistic,’ Dean said. ‘Also, Madam Pomfrey is looking into bonding spells and wild magic, looking for a way to undo whatever Seamus did.’

‘But it’s not going to be that much of a problem, is it?’ Neville asked. ‘The number of times I found you two asleep on the couch, on top of each other, is almost infinite.’

Dean’s face heated.

‘That’s a bit much, isn’t it?’ he said defensively.

‘No,’ Neville said. ‘You’re really touchy-feely.’

Oh.

‘But don’t worry,’ Neville added. ‘Ron and Harry haven’t got a clue.’

‘About?’ Dean’s voice shot up.

‘That’s going to be a long list,’ Neville replied seriously.

Seamus snorted, but Neville’s remark still worried Dean.    
  
He thought he’d been so careful, hiding his crush on Seamus.  
But what if Neville knew?   
What if Neville thought they were secretly dating?   
Confessing to Seamus had never been on Dean’s mind, but hearing Seamus’ denial after Neville’s assumption would…  
hurt.

More than his arm.

⇄

Until that one night, a week later.   
  
Dean woke up with a terrible, burning pain in his left arm.   
  
Groaning from the pain, Dean tried to sit up, to do  _ something  
_ something to make it stop, anything really,  
when his mind told him  
‘Seamus,’ he gasped out, feeling tears slipping from his eyes.   
  
A terrible fear, like icy water being thrown over him, flooded his body,  
and then Seamus was shooting upright, scrambling out of bed and towards Dean.

His hand,  
his wonderful hand,  
grabbed hold of Dean’s, and the pain became a terrible memory.

All the while, Seamus was frantically whispering,  
‘It’s fine, you’re fine, it’s gonna be alright.’

‘Seamus,’ Dean breathed out in relief, dropping his head on Seamus’ leg in exhaustion.

‘Yeah?’ Seamus whispered,    
still gripping onto Dean for dear life.   
  
Normally that would make Dean nervous,  
would make his hands clammy from the contact,  
but right now it just felt nice.   
It was just nice.

'Thanks.’

Seamus’ laugh sounded nervous, and very unlike him.   
  
‘No problem, mate.’

⇄

They normally talked about everything,  
because Seamus was that kind of person.    
The kind that would sit down opposite you and suddenly say,  
‘What happened last night?’

But Dean really did not want to talk about it.   
  
Which wasn’t smart, he knew, but for pete’s sake.  
How was he supposed to feel anything other than embarrassment at waking up in the middle of the night, tears on his face, calling out for his  _ best mate _ to hold his hand?   
Yeah.   
  
‘Um,’ Dean said, refusing to look up from his sketch.  ‘Aren’t you supposed to be doing your homework?’

‘Almost finished,’ Seamus replied, which meant he was about halfway there. Definitely not almost finished.  
  
And then Seamus reached out, gently bumping their fingers together.    
Not their fists.   
Their fingers.

Dean froze, startled at the contact, and forgot he didn’t want to look at Seamus.  
  
‘Why’d your arm start hurting?’

‘I don’t know,’ Dean mumbled.

‘We know it happens when you’re away from me for too long, yeah?’

Dean felt a blush creeping onto his cheeks,  
and his hands definitely felt a bit clammy.   
It still sounded so…  
And to hear Seamus say it.

There was no awkwardness in Seamus bright brown eyes however.   
  
‘I think…’ Dean said shyly. ‘It was triggered because we hadn’t touched for so long. Because we were sleeping…’

‘Oh,’ Seamus said in surprise, and Dean had to resist the urge to look away. 

Because he knew what he’d just implied.  
  
But then Seamus just smiled at him,  
the same bright, honest smile he’d shown Dean all those years.    
‘I’ll touch you more then. Alright?’

_ Absolutely. _ _  
_   
But the word couldn’t get past Dean’s dry throat,  
hands so clammy that he could barely hold onto the pencil.  
He managed to nod.   
  
Seamus reached out and linked their pinkies.   
  
He smiled.

And Dean died.

Not literally.

‘Y-you should-’ Dean started, at the same time that Seamus said, ‘This is gonna sound weird.’   
  
‘Oh,’ Dean said. ‘You first.’   
  
Seamus giggled.   
His gaze dropped to their pinkies for a second.

‘This is gonna sound weird,’ he repeated. ‘But this feels kind of great.’

‘No, no, no- not weird,’ Dean squeaked. 

‘What did you want to say?’

_ You should hold my hand forever. _ _  
_   
‘You should finish your homework.’

‘Oh shite,’ Seamus said, eyes widening. ‘Yer right.’

⇄

‘Seamus,’ Dean gasped out in pain, futilely reaching out toward Seamus’ bed.  
  
Nearly tripping over his blankets in his haste, Seamus made his way over to Dean, grabbing hold of his hand with both of his.  
  
‘Sshh, ‘s okay,’ Seamus whispered, stroking the back of Dean’s hand. ‘Yer fine. It’s going to be fine.’

‘I don’t know,’ Dean shivered, both from the relief of the pain receding and the feeling of Seamus’ hands on his skin.    
  
‘I know,’ Seamus said. 

Dean looked up at him, which was hard because it was very dark, but he could somewhat see his vague outline.  
  
‘You can’t know that,’ Dean sighed.

‘Ssh,’ Seamus shushed him as he leaned a little closer to whisper back.

Except Seamus also couldn’t see in the dark  
and so their foreheads bumped together.   
  
‘Ouch,’ Dean said louder than he wanted to.

Seamus giggled despite the seriousness of the situation.  
Because honestly, that was just Seamus.   
  
‘Sssh,’ Seamus shushed him again.  
  
This time when he leaned forward, he made sure their foreheads touched softly.   
  
Seamus’ warm breath tickled his nose. 

‘I do know,’ Seamus whispered. ‘Yer fine if I’m here. And I’ll always be here for you.’

Dean was glad Seamus couldn’t see too well.

Because explaining why he started crying again was definitely too awkward.   
  
Except Seamus knew him.

‘Mate. Are you crying?’

‘Shut up,’ Dean said, but his breathing hitched so it definitely sounded like he was.  ‘You’re the one saying this.’

Seamus laughed, his breath warm against Dean’s face.    
‘Sorry. Didn’t want to make you uncomfortable.’

Despite his tears, Dean laughed.  
‘‘M not. Just tired.’   
  
‘And something flew into yer eye, yeah?’

‘Sssh,’ Dean said. ‘Let me sleep.’

Laughing quietly, Seamus leaned back, but his hands were still holding Dean’s.   
  
‘Wake me up if something’s wrong.’

Dean’s heart clenched.

‘I will.’   
  
⇄

‘Um,’ Dean said.   
  
He’d just emerged from the bathroom, hair still damp, pyjamas sticking a bit uncomfortably to his body.  
Because Dean got cold very easily in the winter, after his shower, he put on his pyjamas at a record speed, not bothering to dry off properly.   
  
Part of his routine was then running towards his bed and diving underneath the covers,  
but.   
Seamus was currently lying in his bed, scribbling down the last few sentences of his homework.   
  
‘Hi,’ Seamus greeted him, while scooting over to make place for Dean. ‘Sorry, just need to finish this.’

‘In… my bed?’   
  
Seamus looked up.   
‘Oh, yeah, thought you wouldn’t mind.’

‘Um,’ Dean said again.    
  
‘You need a good night’s sleep,’ Neville added, from his bed. ‘You look tired.’

‘Oh,’ Dean said.

‘Figured you might sleep better if you didn’t woke up with pain an’ all that,’ Seamus nodded.   
  
It was sweet.  
Yet it made Dean’s heart race inside his chest,  
and his hands start to feel clammy because.   
Sharing a bed with Seamus.  
And not just any bed.  
A bed made for just one person.

Dean swallowed.

‘Right,’ he croaked, carefully sliding underneath the covers, trying not to touch Seamus in the process.   
He ended up lying on the one millimeter that seperated him from the floor.   
It wasn’t comfortable.

‘Mate?’   
  
Dean flinched,  
and turned to look over his shoulder at Seamus, who was watching him with a confused look on his face.

‘The point was that you’re touching me. An’ you can’t possibly fall asleep like that.’

‘I can try,’ Dean mumbled.   
  
There were loads of chances this would turn out  _ very _ badly.   
But with stiff limbs, Dean lied on his back anyway.   
  
His right arm touched Seamus’ warm side,  
and Dean felt all kinds of things,  
while his thoughts were shouting at him that he was in bed  
with Seamus.   
He was in bed with Seamus, he was actually in bed with Sea-

Calm down, Dean.   
  
Seamus’ scribbling continued, so Dean forced himself to close his eyes.   
  
There wasn’t anything relaxed about the way he was lying, and he probably wouldn’t even sleep for  _ half _ the night.   
  
The door to their dormitory opened, and Harry walked in.

‘Evening,’ he muttered, barely glancing their way before falling face down on his bed.

Dean wondered if Harry was even aware he was wearing glasses.  
  
⇄  
  
After half an hour of not-moving,  
trying to maintain the same amount of body contact, nothing more, nothing less,  
Dean startled out of his nervous trance when Seamus put away his parchment and quill and went to lie down, nestling himself underneath the covers.   
  
Then Seamus turned on his side to face Dean.

‘‘S like a sleepover, right?’ Seamus whispered.   
  
‘Kind of,’ Dean admitted, turning his head towards Seamus.   
  
‘I was thinking,’ Seamus started. ‘Maybe we should spoon? The bed’s small, y’know.’

Spoon?

If only Dean could be a spoon, having no awkward body parts that would touch Seamus if they pressed their bodies together.   
But no.   
Dean was good at transfiguration, but not  _ that _ good.   
  
‘Okay,’ Dean agreed.

Seamus smiled brightly at him,  
like this was something he’d wanted for a while,  
but Dean doubted that would be it.   
  
Seamus turned around, his back now facing Dean.

‘Do you want me…’ Dean trailed off.

‘Well there’s no point wondering who the big spoon is gonna be,’ Seamus laughed. ‘Mate, you’re like two heads taller than me.’   
  
Right.

Dean could do this.

Turning carefully around, so that their bodies weren’t touching, Dean turned on his other side.    
After an agonizing second, he carefully draped his left arm over Seamus.   
  
‘Oh,’ Seamus said.

Dean immediately pulled back his arm.

‘No, no,’ Seamus protested, reaching behind him and pulling Dean’s arm over himself again. ‘Your arm surprised me, is all. And come a little closer mate, you’re practically on the floor.’

Dean breathed out shakily.

Think like a spoon, Dean.  
You can do this.

Dean scooted his body two centimeters closer.

Seamus started giggling, and pulled harder on Dean’s arm, pulling Dean’s upper body against his back.  
Dean was sure Seamus could feel his pounding heart, because it felt like his whole body was shaking with every beat.   
  
Dean didn’t dare move a muscle,   
until Seamus sighed.  
  
‘Mate, you’re a horrible spoon.’

‘Sorry,’ Dean huffed. ‘I’ve never spooned before.’

‘Neither have I,’ Seamus said, turning around to face him. ‘But this doesn’t feel nice at all.’

Dean almost hadn’t caught the words.

Because when Seamus turned around,  
turned around in Dean’s arms,  
their faces were closer than they’d ever been  
and Dean decided to stop breathing  
as he stared into Seamus’ beautiful light brown eyes.   
  
But Seamus was looking at him with an exasperated expression.

‘Turn around, mate.’   
  
Not facing Seamus was a shame,  
but maybe it was for the best, Dean decided as he carefully turned away from the urge to lean in and press his lips against Seamus’.   
  
He’d barely turned around when Seamus plastered himself against Dean’s back,  
his warmth seeping through Dean’s damp pyjamas.   
  
This time, Seamus sighed happily,   
his breath tickling the back of Dean’s neck.

Dean shivered.

Seamus tightened his arm around Dean.

‘Night,’ Seamus murmured sleepily, burrowing his head into the junction between Dean’s shoulder and neck. ‘Why you gotta smell so nice, mate?’

Dean stiffened,  
the feeling of Seamus’ warm breath on his neck causing another shiver to wreck his body.

Before he could answer however, Seamus’ breathing started slowing down,  
evening out,  
and then he was asleep.

Dean stared wide-eyed in the darkness,  
feeling Seamus’ warm body against his back,  
and not moving a muscle.   
  
⇄

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Oooh the boys are getting comfy... Or well, Seamus at least, hahah. 
> 
> Thank you so much for reading!  
> If you want, please let me know what you thought! I would love to hear your reactions and opinions <3


	3. Chapter 3

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hello peeps!
> 
> Hope you had a lovely start of the new year!  
> Though in my opinion, I think you can start anew and anew and anew whenever you want :) You don't need to wait for a new year.
> 
> WELP before that gets any deeper,  
> enjoy!

  
When Dean opened his eyes the following morning,  
he had to conclude that he had, in fact, slept through the night.   
  
He was comfortably warm,  
and when he tried to stretch his body and found that he couldn’t,  
remembered why.   
  
His legs were intertwined with Seamus’ underneath the covers,  
and his back was pressed snugly against Seamus’ chest.  
  
The arm around his body made sure Dean couldn’t fall out of bed.  
  
Dean listened for a moment, but all he could hear were the slow breaths of his roommates,  
so he closed his eyes  
and allowed himself to bask in the happiness of cuddling with Seamus.   
  
Behind him, Seamus shifted closer,  
though that seemed impossible,  
and murmured something against Dean’s neck.  
  
A huge smile made its way onto Dean’s face for no other reason than that he was happy.   
  
‘Morning,’ Seamus mumbled,  
completely unaware of the waves of happiness engulfing Dean.  
Almost like his happiness was doubled.

‘Good morning,’ Dean smiled.

Seamus pressed his nose against Dean’s neck.  
‘Did you sleep alright?’   
  
‘Yeah,’ Dean said softly. ‘I did.’

Seamus hummed.  
‘I did too.’

‘Me too,’ Neville said.

Dean’s eyes flew open in shock.

Crap, he’d forgotten they weren’t alone.

Seamus’ started stroking his arm absentmindedly.  
‘Whas wrong?’ he asked sleepily, and Dean noticed how stiff his posture had gotten.  
He tried to make himself relax again, but it wasn’t easy.

_This  
_ this cuddling,  
this touchy-feely behaviour  
wasn’t easy.  
  
Because when Madam Pomfrey figured out the cure,  
how was Dean supposed to ever forget that it could feel like this?  
How was he supposed to suppress his crush,  
which was what he still called Seamus even though he knew full well he was madly in love with him?  
  
How was he supposed to get over this,  
after he’d had it for a while?  
  
Dean abruptly sat up straight,  
and Seamus’ arm fell off him.  
  
He knew he was going to be heartbroken at the end,  
he knew it was going to _hurt_ ,  
so why make it even worse by indulging?  
  
‘We shouldn’t do this,’ Dean said, looking over his shoulder at Seamus,  
who was looking at him sleepily.  
‘I’m going to practice with Ginny.’

Dean forced himself to get out of bed.  
  
⇄  
  
After the warmth of his bed,  
it felt even colder outside.   
  
‘Are you sure about this?’ Ginny asked him, her breath creating little clouds in the cold air.

‘Yes,’ Dean said, determined. ‘I can still do things on my own.’

_I can still protect myself  
_ _against the heartache._   
  
They both got onto their brooms and flew off.  
  
The fun lasted for ten minutes before Dean’s arm started _hurting_ ,  
not tingling or feeling awkward or stiff,  
but hurting.   
  
The feeling quickly spread through his shoulders and back, until his entire body felt uncomfortable,  
like he was burning up.

Ginny immediately flew towards him,  
but Dean slid off his broom before she could help.   
  
He hit the ground with a painful _thud_ ,  
and a second later Ginny was running towards him.

‘Dean! Oh my gosh, Dean are you okay? Does it hurt again?’

It worried Dean that he couldn’t even figure out if he’d broken anything, because his body was in so much pain that it was difficult to differentiate between a broken bone, broken heart, or broken spell.

‘Should we get Seamus?’

If Dean could think clearly, he’d probably say no.  
But he couldn’t,  
so he nodded.

Ginny grabbed her broom and got ready to jump into the air, but then… She didn’t.  
  
‘Oh,’ Dean heard her say in surprise. ‘Seamus’s already running towards us.’

Dean groaned, trying in vain to curl into himself, but-  
yes  
everything was alright again,  
because Seamus threw himself to the ground next to him and was grabbing his arm like he was afraid Dean might be blown away.   
  
The pain was gradually lessening,  
but an uncomfortable itchy feeling remained.  
  
‘More,’ Dean groaned, trying to make clear that the pain wasn’t going away fast enough.  
  
For a second, it seemed like Seamus was blushing,  
though Dean couldn’t tell because his vision was blurry,  
but then Dean groaned in pain again as the itchy feeling got worse.  
  
It was like his skin was being rearranged over his bones.   
  
Vaguely, he felt Seamus unzipping his coat, pulling at his jumper and then  
two _freezing_ hands were on his stomach.   
  
Dean lurched up with a shock.

‘ _Bloody hell, get off!’_ he exclaimed, pushing Seamus’ _ice cold_ hands away.

The pain was gone now.  
  
Dean immediately pushed his jumper down, and zipped up his coat.   
  
When he looked up,  
he was met with Seamus’ brown eyes,  
looking absolutely frightened.   
  
Seamus was biting hard on his lip,  
and Dean saw he’d broken the skin.  
  
His stomach turned around unpleasantly.

‘S-sorry,’ Seamus stammered. ‘I just wanted the pain to stop.’

‘No, I’m sorry,’ Dean said quietly.

‘Why were you running towards us?’ Ginny asked.  
Dean saw she was frowning,  
probably trying to put together the puzzle pieces.

‘Oh, eh, I saw Dean falling off his broom,’ Seamus answered. ‘I freaked.’

‘No, I get _that_ ,’ Ginny said. ‘But you were already walking this way before he fell. Why?’

Looking down, Seamus nervously pulled at his sleeves.  
‘...I felt something was wrong.’

‘You felt?’ Ginny repeated.

‘Yeah,’ Seamus nodded. ‘Something itchy and uncomfortable in my arms. I figured it might be Dean, since he can’t be away for too long, y’know.’

‘Wait,’ Dean said. ‘Did you feel the pain too?’

Seamus shyly met his eye.  
‘I just felt really uncomfortable, like I was hurting… Except I wasn’t.’  
  
'Has something like this happened to you, Dean?’ Ginny asked.

Oh.  
Thinking about it like that, Dean could quickly connect the dots.  
It all made sense now.

‘I think so,’ he said, surprised. ‘I think I can feel Seamus’ strong emotions.’

‘You can?’ Seamus asked, eyes going wide. ‘L-like what?’

Dean thought about it.  
‘Like how worried you were when I fell through the portrait hole.’

Seamus deflated.  
‘Oh. Yeah, I was.’

‘This spell needs to end,’ Ginny said. ‘And quickly.’

⇄  
  
Seamus was pulling at the sleeves of his pyjamas,  
shifting nervously on his feet.   
  
Dean sighed.

How could he ever say no to Seamus?

Pulling away his covers, Dean scooted over to make room for Seamus, whose entire face brightened as he took Dean’s silent invitation.  
  
Seamus’ legs immediately intertwined with Dean’s,  
and Seamus wrapped an arm around Dean’s middle, gently pulling him back against his chest.

‘I’m sorry for touching you,’ Seamus whispered, head leaning against Dean’s shoulder.   
  
‘You’re touching me now,’ Dean laughed.   
  
‘Oh!’ Seamus immediately started scooting away but,  
against his common sense,  
Dean grabbed hold of his wrist  
and pulled Seamus back.

‘It was just hurting a lot then,’ Dean sighed. ‘And I jumped because your hands were freezing.’  
  
‘Oh.’  
Seamus sounded a lot happier.   
  
Closing his eyes, Dean was feeling comfortable and sleepy when-

‘My hands aren’t freezing now.’

-shocked him wide awake.

‘What?’

‘You’re okay with me touching you?’ Seamus whispered very quietly,  
and Dean noticed that Seamus was barely moving behind him,  
holding himself very still.  
  
Meanwhile, Dean had a hard time keeping up.  
What did Seamus want?  
His hands were getting extremely clammy now, and Dean rubbed them against his legs.  
  
It was stupid.

It was so stupid to say,  
‘Yeah.’

But he did.

Seamus breathed out,  
and then his right arm was slowly making its way over Dean’s side,  
his touch warm and ticklish even through Dean’s shirt,  
until he reached the edge of Dean’s pyjama bottoms.

Dean’s breath hitched  
as he barely dared to move.

Blood was quickly flowing down,  
following the path Seamus’ hand had travelled.   
  
Then Seamus slid his hand underneath Dean’s shirt,  
against his naked skin,  
and Dean had to bite his lip to keep from making a sound,  
as the hand settled against his stomach.

‘No fair,’ Seamus whispered.

‘What?’ Dean asked hoarsely.

‘Where’s your tummy?’ Seamus asked in frustration, rubbing his hand over Dean’s stomach as if he was searching for it. ‘Ye can’t be fit lying down. That’s just no fair.’

Dean huffed a strangled laugh.

‘I get a lot of exercise.’  
  
_and I’m barely breathing right now._

‘I can feel that,’ Seamus whispered,  
lips moving hotly against the back of Dean’s neck.

_Ughn._

Dean bit his lip so hard he was afraid he’d bite through it.

Shifting his legs a bit didn’t help the uncomfortable feeling of being _very_ hard, and he couldn’t just reach down to make it better.   
  
Dean closed his eyes and tried to breathe slowly through his nose.

‘G’night,’ Seamus whispered sleepily,  
hand still on Dean’s stomach.

_You’re a spoon.  
_ _A spoon.  
_ _There’s nothing sexy about a spoon  
_ Dean tried to convince himself,  
but he was utterly defenceless against an Irish spoon.  
  
⇄  
  
‘So how’s your head?’ Harry asked Dean in class.   
Since Slughorn had become the new potions master, it was a lot easier to talk during potions.   
  
‘It’s okay,’ Dean said, at the same time that Ron elbowed Harry. ‘That’s nearly a month ago now.’

‘Oh,’ Harry said sheepishly, but Dean didn’t really mind. He knew Harry had a lot on his mind right now.  
They all kind of did.   
  
‘That’s okay, Ron,’ Dean shrugged, reaching for the cut up daisies next to him.   
But instead of touching flowers, he bumped hands with Seamus.   
  
‘Here you go,’ Seamus nodded, handing him the daisies.   
  
‘Oh, um, thanks,’ Dean mumbled, quickly dumping the ingredient into their cauldron.   
  
Seamus slung an arm around Dean’s shoulder as he peered into the cauldron too.

‘Think it’s about done?’

Dean fought hard to keep his expression neutral.  
He stirred the potion slowly.   
‘Maybe. We only need to add the last ingredient.’

‘You should add it when you’ve turned off the burner,’ Harry said.

Dean frowned down at his potions’ book.  
‘That’s not what it says though.’

Harry shrugged.  
He’d gotten perfect grades the last couple of lessons, so Dean trusted Harry’s instinct well enough to follow his instructions.   
  
‘I can stir the last five minutes,’ Seamus offered, but his hand was already closing around Dean’s, and then they were slowly stirring the potion together.   
  
There was no way Dean could hold off his blush now.   
  
‘Thanks,’ he mumbled, darting a quick glance up at Ron and Harry.   
  
Harry was still working on his potion, oblivious to anything around him,  
although he did sneak a glance or two at Malfoy, but that was hardly unusual.   
  
Ron however, was looking at their joined hands with a thoughtful expression.   
  
Afraid that Ron might think _more_ of it,   
might ask about it   
and then having to hear Seamus denying it,  
was enough for Dean to wrench away his hand.   
  
‘I’ll get the glass vial,’ Dean muttered, taking a few steps back.

He saw Seamus looking at their desk, where two glass vials were already waiting to be filled.  
  
Dean didn’t wait around to see Seamus’ smile falter.   
  
⇄  
  
Curled up on one of the couches in the common room, Dean was busy sketching a dragon when Seamus sat down next to him, leaning an arm on Dean’s legs.   
  
It was something he always did,  
but now it made Dean tense, thinking about the potions lesson.

Seamus’ casual touches had always been more frequent than others, but lately, they had been getting even _more_ .  
And the one thing Dean absolutely didn’t want was Seamus touching him out of worry, concern  
or pity.   
  
Dean wanted to say something, but then Seamus beat him to it.   
Because of course he did.   
Seamus could never keep quiet about something for too long.   
  
‘Sorry about potions,’ Seamus said. ‘Could tell you were uncomfortable with it.’

‘No, it’s not that,’ Dean said slowly. ‘It’s just… Why are you touching me so much?’

Seamus’ beautiful light brown eyes dropped shyly to his lap,  
just like his arms,  
and he started pulling at his sleeves.   
  
‘‘M just concerned, mate... I don’t want you hurting.’   
  
It was exactly what Dean feared,  
but hearing it being said out loud didn’t make him feel particularly angry or sad.   
It was just sweet.   
  
He gently pulled Seamus’ hand away before he’d pick another hole in his sweater.   
‘I get it. I just don’t want you touching me all the time... out of pity,’ Dean confessed.   
  
‘What?’ Seamus’ head shot up, and he looked shocked at the implication. ‘It’s not that!’   
  
‘Sure?’   
  
Seamus grabbed Dean’s hand and leaned forward, looking _very_ serious as he said in a very serious tone,

‘Your hands are nice to hold.’

Dean blinked in surprise,  
then burst out laughing.   
  
‘Thanks, I guess.’

Seamus smiled too.   
‘No problem.’  
  
⇄  
  
‘So it’s all going okay?’ Ginny asked skeptically while they were walking towards the Quidditch pitch.  
Seamus had promised he would follow soon after, but right now they were alone, and Dean was secretly glad for it.

‘Kind of.’  
  
‘Kind of doesn’t sound like all’s well,’ Ginny pointed out. ‘What’s wrong?’

Even though he’d became best friends with Ginny, it had never crossed Dean’s mind to tell her about his… crush.   
His sexuality.   
  
‘It’s weird,’ Dean said. ‘Seamus touching me all the time.’   
  
Ginny was silent for a while,  
and Dean watched their feet sink into the snow as they walked.   
The crispy sound was very satisfying.   
  
‘Bad weird or… good weird?’ Ginny asked quietly.   
  
‘There’s a good weird?’

‘Yeah. When you don’t _hate_ it, but it’s still weird.’   
  
Dean hummed.   
That sounded kind of accurate.   
  
‘Are you interested in dating?’ Ginny suddenly asked, the words tumbling out of her mouth in a rush.   
  
‘What?’

‘Dating. Kissing.’

Dating?  
Going on cute dates to Hogsmeade  
or comfy, cuddly dates in the common room when almost everyone was asleep?  
Leaning in and getting to know the feeling of someone’s lips against his?   
Yes.   
Dean was interested.   
  
‘Yeah,’ he said.

‘Oh,’ Ginny said. ‘Me too.’

Dean wanted to know why she was asking,  
but decided to drop it.   
  
Not a bad decision, considering Seamus was coming their way.   
  
‘Did I miss anything?’ Seamus asked.

‘Nope,’ Ginny said quickly.  
  
⇄

Because it was nearing Christmas, classes tended not to drag for too long and they had more free afternoons.   
While Seamus went with Neville and some other guys to play games in the common room, Dean normally tried to cram in some extra studying.  
  
The bond made it difficult to do that now,  
but still Dean was stubbornly saying goodbye to Seamus after Charms.   
  
‘Sure it’s fine?’ Seamus asked.

‘Yeah,’ Dean said. ‘I really want to study on my own.’

When Seamus didn’t question his decision, just nodded and smiled his usual bright smile,  
Dean’s heart clenched inside his chest.   
  
It was something so simple,  
but it really made him love Seamus more.

⇄  
  
Of course the uncomfortable itchy feeling returned, but this time Dean had anticipated it and could firmly put it at the back of his mind.   
He figured he got at least fifteen minutes before it became too painful.   
  
Quickly turning the page of his Charms book, Dean scribbled down the information he needed to finish his homework,  
while the itchy feeling in his arm spread throughout his body.   
  
Dean sighed as he wrote down the last few words.   
  
At least he’d managed to do a good portion of his homework.   
  
But then the itchy feeling slowly transformed into a  
burning  
sensation,  
like fire flowing through Dean’s veins   
and going down  
down  
down.

Heat flooded his cheeks as Dean felt his body react,  
and with hurried steps, he fled the library.   
  
Every step he took felt too much,  
and the shifting of his trousers against his erection was very distracting.   
  
The burning was now bordering on uncomfortable,  
and though the library wasn’t _that_ far from the Gryffindor common room, Dean heard himself panting.  
  
He all but hurried through the portrait,  
eyes focused on the path to the dormitory,  
the path to privacy  
and darkness  
and an end to this burning.   
  
Until.   
  
‘Dean?’   
  
Dean froze in his steps.   
Oh no.   
Anyone but Seamus.

Heart pounding, Dean debated whether he should make a run for it, but a quick glance down told him his predicament wasn’t noticeable through his robes.  
  
He heard Seamus walking towards him.   
  
‘Mate?’ Seamus asked, sounding insecure. ‘I can’t tell from yer emotions whether you’re in pain or not…’

Bollocks.  
The emotions transferring thing.   
Dean had completely forgotten about it.  
  
‘It’s… okay,’ Dean said,  
and was shocked to hear his own voice sound so rough.   
  
‘Sure?’   
  
And then Seamus did the thing he absolutely shouldn’t have done.   
He reached out and tentatively touched Dean’s hand.

It felt like a shock,  
like putting your hand on the stove,   
the intense heat burning you,  
and Dean’s hand jerked as pleasure shot through his body.   
  
‘ _Ah_ ,’ he gasped, then immediately slapped a hand in front of his mouth.   
  
Oh no.  
He should get out of here.   
_Now_ .   
  
Mortified, Dean decided to just go for it and ran towards their dormitory.

Throwing the door close behind him, Dean let himself fall on the bed  
which felt kind of worse, because now his erection was painfully pinned to the mattress.   
  
It was too hot for his robes.  
  
Dean scrambled up and started to frantically take off his uniform.

Standing in his shirt and trousers,  
his body still felt too hot,  
way too hot,  
like he was burning up  
and Dean could barely think past the ache as he started to unbuckle his belt with shaky hands.   
  
Just then,  
the door to their dormitory opened.

Why hadn’t he locked the door?

‘Dean?’  
  
Dean’s hands froze on his belt,  
as he stared wide-eyed at Seamus,  
whose eyes dropped down to see what Dean had been so close to doing.

‘O-oh,’ Seamus said. ‘So I was feelin’ it right after all…’

Another dizzying wave of burning heat  
flowed through Dean’s body  
and he shivered from the pleasure and pain.

Seamus’ eyes widened.

‘B-but… It hurts, doesn’t it?’   
  
Dean nodded,  
carefully dropping his hands even though they were itching to take off the rest of the restricting clothing.

And then Seamus licked his lips,  
and Dean’s mind blanked as he stared at them.  
  
Before he could stop himself,  
Dean asked in a breathless voice,  
‘Can you help me?’

Seamus’ eyes dropped to the bulge in Dean’s trousers.  
  
Dean wished he could take back his words  
and Dean wished he could take off his clothes.   
  
‘Yeah,’ Seamus said. ‘I can.’

A sigh of relief escaped him as Dean could finally continue to unbuckle his belt, even though his burning fingers made it hard to coordinate.  
  
But suddenly Seamus was there, fingers fantastically quick as he loosened the belt, unzipped his trousers and then pushed them down.   
  
Dean helped by pushing his own boxers down,  
needing this burning to stop.   
Without thinking, he wrapped a hand around himself.   
  
Except Seamus slapped it away.

‘I’m supposed to help, yeah?’

Dean wanted to say  
yes  
but when Seamus’ hand took hold of his erection,  
the touch shooting sparks of mind-numbing pleasure through his body,  
his yes ended on a moan.   
  
‘ _Yes_.’

Seamus laughed nervously,  
and started moving his hand slowly,  
too slow for Dean’s overheated body.   
  
‘Faster,’ Dean panted, closing his eyes.   
  
‘O-okay.’

Seamus’ grip tightened  
and he moved his hand faster now, concentrating more on the head,  
and Dean moaned at the combined feeling of the pain disappearing  
and the pleasure of Seamus’ hand.

It was too intense,  
and Dean grasped Seamus’ shoulder tightly as he gasped,  
‘Close.’

Instead of replying,  
Seamus just sped up his hand,  
and slick sounds filled the room as Dean’s mind exploded for a second,  
coming hard.   
  
It took a while before Dean’s breathing slowed down.   
It didn’t take long for Dean to realize what had just happened.   
  
Seamus gave his cock one last stroke,  
which made Dean shudder at the overstimulation  
and then Seamus muttered something about grabbing his wand.   
  
Dean opened his eyes slowly,   
afraid of what he might see.   
  
He hadn’t expected to see Seamus trying to perform a cleaning spell without getting his wand dirty.   
The concentrated frown was cute, as always,  
and a little disarming,  
and Dean felt a bit of his nerves dissolve.   
  
When the fresh and cool sensation of the cleaning spell swept over him, Dean quickly buttoned his trousers again.   
  
‘Sorry,’ he said.   
  
Seamus looked at him in surprise.   
‘No, don’t be.’   
  
‘But I-’

‘Seriously, it’s fine,’ Seamus pressed, smiling at Dean.

‘And don’t talk shite, that looked like it felt great.’

Dean didn’t even fight the blush.

‘It did.’

Seamus grinned.  
‘Even more things I’m great at.’

And Dean didn’t fight the smile.

‘Shut up.’

‘Ooh,’ Seamus laughed. ‘Someone’s jealous.’  
  
While they made their way back to the common room so Dean could join in on a game of Wizard chess,  
Dean admired the way Seamus had made the situation not awkward,  
had made Dean feel okay about this weird thing that had happened.

‘You okay?’ Neville asked, when Dean joined them.

‘Surprisingly, yes,’ Dean said.  
  
⇄ 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> THANKS FOR READING <3 
> 
> Let me know what you thought or felt this chapter! That always motivates me immensely.  
> We're getting to the, in Dean's opinion, awkward parts of the story now :)


	4. Chapter 4

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hello peoples!
> 
> We're getting to the halfway part of this story now.   
> I hope your week has been good so far!
> 
> Enjoy!

**  
** ‘How come you’re so good at this?’ Dean groaned, trying in vain to save his potion from being a complete disaster.   
  
‘Eh, nothing much,’ Harry said vaguely, peering at his potions’ book. ‘Just reading.’   
  
Behind them, Draco Malfoy scoffed.   
‘Did it take you six years to figure that one out?’

Fire brightened Harry’s eyes  
and he turned around sharply.

‘I can figure things out,’ he said. ‘And I  _ will _ figure out what you’re up to, Malfoy.’  
  
Colour drained from Draco’s face,  
but he quickly regained his composure.  
  
‘Good luck with that,’ he sneered, looking Harry up and down in a rather intimate manner.   
Dean wondered why.    
‘But I won’t wait six years for you to figure  _ things _ out.’   
  
Dean also wondered why it felt like they were having two completely different conversations.   
  
‘You won’t have to,’ Seamus said. ‘‘Cause soon we’ll all see what a prick you are.’  
  
‘Seamus,’ Dean said, pulling at his sleeve.    
  
‘Dance back to your boyfriend, leprechaun,’ Draco sneered.   
  
Knowing Seamus for all these years now, Dean could tell when Seamus was this close to losing his composure,   
his anger soon exploding all over the place,  
so Dean squashed away the uneasy feeling Draco’s words left and tugged harder on Seamus’ arm.   
  
‘Help me out with this potion,’ he said. ‘Because it’s short of failing completely.’

‘Malfoy is short of failing,’ Seamus muttered angrily, but he turned towards Dean and helped out with the potion.   
  
Stirring the drab in their cauldron, Dean did his best not to get panicky.  
  
Malfoy was just trying to find weak spots.

Was that what being gay was?    
A weak spot?   
No, no, if Dean had been a girl, Malfoy would’ve probably said girlfriend in the same manner.   
  
But still.  
Now that the word was out there,  
more people would start to wonder, wouldn’t they?   
  
Crap.  
The last thing Dean wanted was  
‘ _ They seem awfully close. Think they’re together?’  
_ ‘ _ No, haven’t you heard? Spell went wrong and now they’re bonded. They have to touch. It’s only temporary though.’ _ _   
_ _   
_ “It’s only temporary.”

The spell was.  
But Dean’s feelings weren’t.

⇄  
  
Just like the last time they were walking towards the quidditch pitch, their feet were disappearing in the layers of snow,  
their breaths were visible in the air  
and they were talking about dating.   
  
Except this time, Dean was the one who brought it up.

‘Why’d you ask about dating?’ 

Ginny sighed.

‘I need to bring someone to Slughorn’s Christmas party.’

‘Ohh. I forgot you were in his exclusive club.’

‘Yeah, I’ve been having a ball.’

Dean laughed.   
‘So? Who’re you going to take?’

‘Yeah, about that…’ Ginny trailed off, staring ahead. ‘I know who I want to take, but I don’t think it’s possible to go together.’

‘Why not?’   
  
Ginny stopped walking,  
and she suddenly looked years older as she looked sadly at Dean.

‘Difficult to explain. Can I- Can I try something?’

‘Sure,’ Dean said, concerned. ‘What’s-’

But Ginny silenced him by putting her finger against his lips.   
  
It confused Dean,   
but he trusted her enough to merely wait for Ginny to explain what she wanted.  
  
It became clear when she moved closer,  
and pressed her lips against his.   
  
Dean froze in shock,  
eyes widening as he registered what  what was happening.   
  
Ginny’s kiss didn’t feel particularly nice,  
he noted.

It was just her cold lips pressed against his,  
a firm press of skin against skin.  
  
Disappointment and sadness washed over Dean.

Then,  
a sudden, strangled sound on Dean’s left made Ginny pull back,  
her eyes still sad as she looked up at him.

The two or three seconds their eyes locked  were full of emotions that Dean didn’t fully understand,  
and then he was turning around,  
seeing Seamus standing there on the path.

His usually easy smile was missing.   
  
‘Seamus?’ Dean said awkwardly.

‘I-I,’ Seamus stammered. ‘I’ll go.’

‘No, wai-’

‘I’ll touch you and I’ll go,’ Seamus said, dropping his eyes to the ground as he walked over.    
  
Their hands touched briefly,  
a nice, tingly feeling spreading through Dean’s fingers at the contact,  
then Seamus turned around sharply, still keeping his head down.

‘Enjoy yer- uh. Have fun.’

Dean watched Seamus go in shock.

‘Well,’ Ginny said. ‘Will you go to Slughorn’s party with me?’

‘I-I, um,’ Dean stammered.

‘Don’t worry,’ Ginny smiled. ‘After that kiss, I think it’s safe to say we should go as friends.’

‘Oh,’ Dean said stupidly. ‘Then yes, I’ll go with you.’

He watched her warily,  
yet again wondering  
why.

Ginny raised an eyebrow.  
‘Shouldn’t you go after him?’

Dread filled Dean.   
Not her too.

‘Why?’ he asked nervously.

‘Because it hurts when you’re too long apart, doesn’t it?’

Dean laughed without humour.   
  
‘We’re going to have to get used to it.’

Ginny’s punch was unexpected.  
Not that Dean could’ve avoided it if he had seen it coming, probably.

‘Don’t be so dramatic,’ Ginny scolded him. ‘Yes, you have no idea if he loves you back. But right now you’re bonded, and it will literally hurt, and I  _ really _ don’t want to carry your arse back to Hogwarts when you collapse.’

Dean nodded sheepishly.   
‘Right.’

‘Go,’ Ginny pushed him in the direction of the castle.

Dean took a step forward, then paused.

‘How did you know?’

Ginny rolled her eyes.  
‘I’m your friend. I know what you look like when you’re joking with friends, when you’re looking at friends, because that’s how you look at me. It sure isn’t how you look at Seamus.’

Really?

Dean felt a bit stupid as he made his way back to the castle.   
  
Touching his lips, he wondered if kissing really felt this  
underwhelming.   
  
⇄

He found Seamus in the dormitory,   
in his own bed for once.

‘How does your own bed feel?’ Dean asked jokingly, though it came out rather tentative as he made his way over to Seamus.

‘Neglected, I reckon,’ Seamus replied,   
sounding awfully sulky.

Dean sat down at the end of Seamus’ bed.  
He normally didn’t like starting up these kinds of conversations, but Seamus did  
and well.   
There wasn’t a lot he wouldn’t do for Seamus.

‘What’s wrong?’

‘Nothing,’ Seamus muttered, fiddling with his sleeves. 

Dean gently pulled his hand away before he could ruin his shirt.   
  
‘Come on,’ he said. ‘Tell me.’

‘Was that yer first?’ Seamus blurted out, looking up at Dean with sad eyes. ‘Yer first kiss?’

‘Um, yeah. Yeah, it was.’

Seamus bit his lip as if to stop himself from talking.   
Which was futile, as Seamus could rarely keep quiet.

‘So…’ Seamus began. ‘How was it?’ 

‘That’s what you’re sad about?’ Dean asked. ‘Me getting my first kiss sooner than you?’

Seamus looked confused for a split second,   
before dropping his gaze and mumbling,  
‘Yeah…’

‘Don’t worry,’ Dean said, patting Seaus awkwardly on the arm. ‘It, um, wasn’t that great.’

Seamus looked up in surprise.

‘Really?’

‘Really. It was just... Skin pressed together,’ Dean tried to explain, feeling a bit awkward. ‘Like holding hands, I guess. Just. Skin together.’

Yeah, just skin together.   
Except that whenever Seamus held his hand,  
it felt like putting on warm gloves after being without in the cold.

‘That sounds kinda sad,’ Seamus stated.

Dean laughed.

‘Is it really that ordinary?’ Seamus asked in disbelief.   
  
Dean shrugged helplessly.  
‘Yeah, sorry.’

But Seamus didn’t look convinced.

‘No, it can’t be,’ he said resolutely,  
something suddenly sparking behind his eyes,  
something being a plan probably.

Dean didn’t have a lot of time to worry as Seamus crawled over to him.

‘Let me try.’

Those were the last words Dean heard before his heart stopped.  
  
Cinnamon  
his mind registered  
as Seamus pressed their lips together.   
  
His eyes closed of their own accord,  
which was probably for the best, because Dean felt overwhelmed by the sensation of Seamus’ warm and soft lips moving   
very slowly  
against his.   
  
He’d called it ordinary,  
but there was nothing ordinary about the way his heart was pounding inside his chest,  
about the way his hands were clammy as they clutched Seamus’ blanket,  
the way   
breathing  
seemed irrelevant to kissing Seamus.   
  
Then Seamus leaned back,  
light brown eyes staring into Dean’s.   
  
It was hard to decipher which emotions Dean saw reflected in there,  
seeing as his own were currently all over the place.

‘And?’ Dean whispered. 

Seamus smiled,  
the wonderfully, bright smile that made his whole face light up.

‘I think Ginny’s a shite kisser, mate.’

⇄  
  
Should they talk about this?  
Absolutely.  
  
Did Dean want to start up the conversation?  
Nope.  
Definitely not.

But Dean’s luck had always been that Seamus would somehow breach the topic,  
pulling them over any awkward bumps in the road of their friendship.

Dean sighed as he erased the face of the person he’d sketched.   
  
He sat curled up on one of the couches again,   
because over the years it had become one of his spots,  
but Dean suspected it might also have something to do with Seamus’ habit of leaning on his legs.   
  
Of all the people to seek him out,  
Ron wasn’t one that Dean had expected.   
  
‘Hey mate,’ Ron greeted him.    
  
‘Hi,’ Dean replied in surprise.   
  
‘How’s it going?’    
  
‘Good, good,’ Dean lied, because telling the truth would be all kinds of awkward.  ‘How are you?’   
  
‘I’m going to be honest with you here,’ Ron said, skipping the niceties apparently.   
Dean sat up straighter.  
‘I’m not a fan of you and Gin dating.’    
  
Oh, that Dean hadn’t expected.

‘We’re-’ he tried to explain, but Ron held up his hand.

‘I know you’re going to tell me she’s old enough to choose what to do with her life, but I just don’t think she’s ready to date.’   
  
‘You-’

‘Gin told me you guys kissed, and that she’s taking you to Slughorn’s party.’

‘As fr-’

‘I don’t like it.’

Ron was determined to not let Dean get a word in, it seemed.   
So Dean leaned back and let Ron vent.   
  
‘I don’t want Gin to have to find another date so soon before the party,’ Ron continued. ‘So you can go with her, but I don’t want to see you guys snogging in the common room and everything.’

‘Snogging in the common room?’ Seamus asked, joining them, sitting down on the armchair next to the couch. ‘Who’s gettin’ it on?’

Dean sank lower on the couch.   
Oh no.   
  
‘Nobody,’ Ron said determinedly.    
  
‘Listen-’ Dean started but again, Ron interrupted him.   
  
‘You take good care of her, alright? No funny business like snogging during the party.’   
  
‘Party?’ Seamus repeated.   
  
'Slughorn’s party,’ Dean answered quickly. 

‘Yer going?’

Dean nodded, glancing nervously at Ron as he said,  
‘Yeah, Ginny’s asked me.’

Something flickered behind Seamus’ eyes,   
something that looked a lot like doubt,   
maybe something else too, but before Dean could decipher it,  
it was gone.

‘Ha, ye think they’re in the mood with Slughorn there, Ron?’ Seamus laughed a little too loud.  
  
Ron seemed to see the logic in that, so he shrugged.

‘Just warning you, mate.’

'Right,’ Dean nodded weakly. ‘Consider me warned.’

‘Good.’ 

Ron sighed, then clapped Dean on the shoulder, which caused Dean to drop his pencil.   
He didn’t dare break eye contact to pick it up however,   
afraid that it would seem like he wasn’t taking this seriously enough. 

‘Thanks for listening, mate. Enjoy the, er, party,’ Ron said and moved to his feet, muttering something about needing to see what Harry was up to.   
In the same tone as when he’d talked about his younger sister.   
  
There was a somewhat awkward pause after he’d left.   
  
‘So,’ Seamus said,  
and oh no  
Dean suddenly wasn’t so sure he wanted to hear whatever   
_ so  
_ would entail.   
  
‘I have to grab my books for homework,’ Dean said, standing up quickly. ‘See you at dinner?’

A disappointed look crossed Seamus’ face briefly,  
but then the friendly smile was back, and he nodded.

‘Sure. Good luck with that. See you at dinner.’

Dean felt horrible for dodging the conversation,   
but he wasn’t sure he would  
ever  
be ready to hear  
‘ _ So. Friends right?’ _

⇄  
  
‘Wow,’ Dean said, as he saw Ginny come down the staircase, the night of Slughorn’s party. ‘You look beautiful.’

And she did.  
Hair loosely curled,  
black dress hugging her slender frame beautifully. 

She looked beautiful  
and attractive.

Maybe not entirely gay, Dean thought to himself as he took in Ginny’s appearance.  
  
Ginny smiled.    
‘Thank you.’

Dean held out his hand.   
‘Ready to go, madam?’

Ginny punched him lightly on the arm.  
‘Shut up. Yes, I am.’

⇄  
  
Loads of fabric was draped across the room, creating a plush and warm atmosphere.   
  
But Dean couldn’t really focus on the party, Seamus’ words echoing through his mind.  
  
‘ _Ye think they’re in the mood with Slughorn there?_ ’ 

Yes, it would be ridiculous.   
But his body,  
or more accurately, the bond,  
thought it was perfectly normal to slowly warm up, sending small, hot waves of pleasure through Dean’s body.   
  
Gritting his teeth, Dean tried to not let himself get aroused.  
It was hard however, no pun intended.  
  
‘You okay?’ Ginny asked, leaning closer.   
  
Dean’s eye fell to the slender curve of her neck,   
and he blinked hard against another wave of hot pain-pleasure.   
  
It was too easy to tell himself that he’d promised Ron no funny business, so that he needed to find…  
No.   
No he could deal with this himself.   
  
‘I need to go,’ Dean managed. ‘Toilet.’

‘Oh, sure,’ Ginny said. ‘I’ll grab something to eat in the meantime.’   
  
The prickling sensation on his lower back made Dean shiver,  
and he quickly made his way to the exit,  
eyes fixed on the ground.   
  
He bumped into Neville.

‘Oh, hey Dean,’ Neville said. ‘Canape?’

Dean looked down at the plate with small bites,   
but it was increasingly more difficult to focus on anything other than the sensations wrecking his body, so he just shook his head.  
  
‘No, thanks,’ Dean grunted.

‘I have no idea if they’re good either,’ Neville said. ‘Are you having fun? I saw Ginny. She looks pretty.’

Dean nodded, feeling a bead of sweat trickle down his forehead.  
His clothes were too much,  
too hot.  
He needed them gone  _ now _ .

‘Have to… go,’ Dean all but panted. ‘To- toilet.’

‘Oh, it’s right over there, close to where Slughorn’s standing.’

Dean normally didn’t really swear but  
shit.

Again, his robes disguised his...  _ condition _ ,  but walking past Slughorn in this state was something he’d rather avoid.   
  
Dean hoped Slughorn wouldn’t pay him any attention, like he hadn’t so far.

Except of course Slughorn noticed when a student looked  _ so _ out of it,  
and his hand grabbed Dean’s shoulder before he reached the door.

‘You okay there, my boy? You look like you’re burning up.’

Dean felt close to it, yes.

‘Fine,’ Dean groaned, another prickly hot wave travelling through his body.    
His hands balled into fists to stop them from shaking   
or pulling off his robes.   
  
‘Are you sure? You don’t look like it, if I’m being honest,’ Slughorn continued, frowning. ‘Have you been drinking?’

Oh please no.  
Dean just wanted to go to the toilet and deal with this,  
alone.  
And without clothes preferably.   
  
But that didn’t seem to be happening,  
as Seamus all but toppled him to the ground with the speed he’d been running towards him.    
  
‘Dean!’ Seamus panted,   
and Dean’s mind was split between wondering if he’d ran the entire way here,  
if he was also feeling a fraction of what Dean was feeling  
and  
thinking that Seamus sounded really sexy, panting his name like that.  
  
Luckily, Dean’s cheeks couldn’t get any redder.   
  
‘Sorry professor,’ Seamus said. ‘I’ll be taking him. Needs to cool off, you see.’

Slughorn eyed them skeptically for a second,  
but then figured this was a nice way of making Dean someone else's problem.  
He nodded.   
‘But you boys be sure to visit Madam Pomfrey if he doesn’t get better soon.’

‘Of course,’ Seamus said, hand grabbing Dean’s wrist. ‘But I reckon he’ll be better soon.’    
  
If Dean’s blood wasn’t already boiling from the bond,  
Seamus’ words would’ve made sure of it.   
  
Another wave of pleasure-pain assaulted his body as they were walking towards the toilet, causing Dean to shudder and gasp inaudibly.  
  
Seamus’ hand tightening on his wrist, however, was an unexpected side effect.

It was actually a bit cooler there.

Dean found out first hand,   
being dragged into a toilet stall and pushed against the cold stone wall.

Seamus’ was already busy fiddling with Dean’s dress robes buttons,   
and Dean was staring at him in shock, mind not quite registering what was happening until Seamus said,  
‘Help me out here, mate.’

Together they quickly relieved Dean of his dress robes, until he was just in his trousers.

The air was cold against his overheated skin,   
and Dean shivered, goosebumps raising all over his skin.

Seamus was staring at his chest with a strange look in his eyes.   
  
Another wave of uncomfortably hot pleasure wrecked Dean’s body,  
and he saw Seamus close his eyes briefly,  
his breath leaving him in a shudder.

It aroused Dean all the more that Seamus was feeling a fraction of this too,  
and he wondered if he should  
maybe  
also   
touch  
Seamus?  
  
But whatever had held Seamus back was gone,  
and his hands were now quickly unzipping Dean’s trousers and pushing them down.

Near delirious with uncomfortable pleasure,  
Dean didn’t mind that Seamus saw him naked.  
  
He could only focus on the wonderful feeling of Seamus’ touching him,   
freeing his erection from his boxers and dragging his thumb over the slick head.  
  
Dean groaned.

‘Like that?’ Seamus breathed. ‘Or wetter?’

Biting his lip to keep himself from moaning,   
Dean merely nodded,  
and watched as Seamus released him briefly to lick a wet strip on his hand.   
  
Dean’s erection throbbed at the sight,  
and he immediately closed his eyes in fear of coming from watching only.

Seamus’ slick and tight grip on his cock   
was intense  
and Dean was glad he wasn’t getting any visuals.   
He wanted to,  
merlin, he wanted to see Seamus wanking him,  
but he was also afraid.   
Afraid it would betray how much he liked seeing Seamus.

Panting, Dean focused purely on the feeling of Seamus’ hand,  
but then Seamus’ voice close to his ear startled him out of his thoughts, eyes opening wide.

‘You close?’ Seamus breathed,   
but it sounded more like a moan,  
and without meaning to, Dean looked down, saw Seamus’ pale and freckled hand racing over his cock  
and lost it.   
  
Hand flying up to grip Seamus’ shoulder, Dean’s head fell back as he came with a low moan.   
  
His whole body was trembling,  
from the release   
but also the relief as the pain subsided.  
  
And then from fear.

Dean dreaded what he was going to see,  
what he was going to have to deal with,  
so opening his eyes slowly,   
wasn’t fully prepared to see Seamus do the same awkward dance as the last time, trying to cast a cleaning spell without getting Dean’s…  _ stuff _ on his wand.   
  
‘Shite, I need to learn to do this wandless,’ Seamus muttered.

Dean smiled.  
‘There’s toilet paper right there.’

Seamus looked behind him.

‘Oh!’   
  
When they were both clean,  
Dean didn’t dare look Seamus in the eye.  
  
‘I have to go back,’ Dean said quietly.

‘Sure, sure,’ Seamus said. 

‘Thanks for, um...’

‘It’s fine.’

Seamus sounded like he was smiling.   
  
Dean dared a glance,  
and indeed, Seamus didn’t look fazed at all.    
He looked like Seamus.  
Who just wanked his best friend.   
Crap.   
  
Dean took a step back.  
‘So I’m going now. Back to Ginny. She might be wondering where I’ve been.’

‘Are ye-’  
But Seamus stopped himself, biting his lip nervously.

Everything in Dean wanted to wait  
and everything in him wanted to go.  
  
‘Sorry,’ Dean said quickly. ‘I’ll see you tonight okay? You don’t have to wait up for me.’

A flash of hurt crossed Seamus’ face,  
but as always he quickly disguised it by smiling.    
  
‘Right. I won’t then.’

Dean nodded, and left.  
  
It was bad enough that one of them would  
always   
be waiting for the other.

⇄  
  
He found Ginny faster than he’d anticipated.   
  
She was talking with Luna while devouring some canapes, but when she saw Dean, stopped eating to give him a one-over.   
  
‘Toilet, huh?’ Ginny said, then looked pointedly behind Dean.    
  
Dean didn’t need to look to know that Seamus was failing at casually leaving the toilets.   
  
‘Yeah…’ he trailed off. ‘So how are the canapes?’    
  
‘Why don’t you try for yourself?’    
  
Ginny shoved one in his mouth,  
and Dean coughed as he tried to swallow the cracker.   
  
‘It’s an acquired taste,’ Luna said softly, patting Dean on the back.    
  
Ginny laughed louder than Dean had expected.   
  
‘I’m sure,’ Ginny laughed. ‘I think Dean’s got more of a taste for Irish.’   
  
‘Really?’ Luna asked, looking at him with large, blue eyes. ‘I never knew Irish food differed so much from English. You have to tell me about it.’

‘Um,’ Dean said, smiling awkwardly. ‘I’d love to, sometime. But right now I’ve got to…’ He searched the room for someone who could be his escape.   
He saw Harry for a second, but he and Hermione were sneaking away to somewhere, so Dean continued looking.   
  
His eye fell on Neville.   
  
‘Help Neville,’ he said.    
  
‘Oh,’ Luna said. ‘That’s kind.’

‘Uhuh,’ Ginny smirked, but didn’t say anything else as Dean made his retreat.   
  
‘Neville!’ Dean called out, causing Neville to turn around carefully, plate wobbling on his arm.   
  
‘Canape, Dean?’

‘Uh, no. Can I maybe help you with anything?’

‘Help me?’ Neville looked confused. ‘It’s just one plate, Dean. I can manage. Oh, did you see Seamus? Apparently he sneaked inside.’

Dean fought against the blush.  
‘Yeah. Saw him briefly.’

Neville nodded.  
‘Figured. I thought to myself, they must be touching each other every once in a while, so that’s why he’s sneaking in.’    
  
Dean blushed.  
‘Yeah…’ he laughed awkwardly.

Just then, Filch dragged Draco Malfoy of all people inside,   
who looked like he’d gone without sleep for three days.  
  
‘Oh, this is weird,’ Neville commented, when Slughorn stated that Mr. Malfoy was more than welcome to stay.   
Snape quickly stepped forward however, and dragged Malfoy out of the party.   
  
The whole ordeal took about two minutes.   
  
‘Did you see that?’ Harry said from behind them, causing Dean to jump. 

‘See what?’ Neville asked calmly, like he’d known Harry was standing there all along.

‘Malfoy sneaking in here,’ Harry whispered. ‘He’s up to something. Did you see how he looked? He was extremely pale.’

‘He’s always pale,’ Neville stated.  
  
‘No, no, no,’ Harry said seriously. ‘He is, but this was different. He looked very tired and worn-out, like something was bothering him.’   
  
Dean was sort of surprised at Harry’s accurate observation,  
seeing how Harry barely remembered what everyone in their year looked like.  
  
‘It  _ is _ already past midnight,’ Neville said. 

‘Really?’ Dean said in surprise, remembering his early morning training scheduled with Ginny. ‘I think I’ll go back then.’   
  
Harry didn’t react,  
but Neville told him goodnight.

⇄

When Dean entered the dormitory, he saw and heard that Ron was already fast asleep.

Seeing as Seamus never snored, it was a bit harder to check if he was asleep without peering closely at his face.   
Dean knew that would be a   
bad  
idea, so he just undressed quickly and slipped under the covers.    
  
Turning on his side, away from Seamus,  
Dean quickly felt his thoughts start to slow down,   
get hazier, unclearer.   
  
He didn’t even startle awake as Seamus crawled closer  
and snuggled up against his back,   
arms wrapping around his chest.   
  
⇄   


' Sorry?’ Seamus asked.

‘There  _ are _ cases where wild magic was broken by force. I believe Mr. Thomas’ pain is mostly mental,’ Madam Pomfrey said. ‘Therefore, it could be worth a try.’

‘Ye want us to stay apart?’    
  
‘That is what I am suggesting. Of course I will stand by with pain relief potions.’   
  
‘He doesn’ need a potion,’ Seamus said, and Dean could feel little spikes of anger pricking his skin. ‘He needs a cure.’

‘As I’ve told you before, Mr. Finnigan, I’ve been trying my best, but there hasn’t been much research on wild magic bonds. And this method has proved to work in previous instances.’

‘So ye just want ‘em ta suffer?’ Seamus asked in disbelief, his anger clear in the way his accent became worse,  
the way his mouth formed a thin, harsh line.   
  
‘It could be worth a try,’ Dean said tentatively. 

‘Don’t talk shite! It’s a daft plan and ye know it.’

‘Mr. Thomas doesn’t have to, of course,’ Madam Pomfrey said. ‘But I can’t imagine this is a very desirable situation.’

‘It’s desirable enough!’ Seamus exclaimed.    
  
‘Seamus,’ Dean said softly, putting his hand briefly on Seamus’ arm. ‘It’s fine. We can try.  _ I’d _ like to try anyway.’

Seamus flinched,   
like Dean’s suggestion had hurt him,   
but Dean saw him trying to smile away his frustration.

‘If ye say so…’ Seamus muttered, unconvinced.

‘Trust me?’ Dean asked.

Seamus met his eyes,  
and Dean saw all kinds of emotions battling inside those light brown eyes,  
but Seamus’ answer was immediate and confident.   
  
‘‘Course.’   
  
⇄   
  


**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I told myself I wouldn't write the angst and now look where we are......   
> ANYWAYS  
> I would love to know what you think! <3 
> 
> Thanks for reading :D


	5. Chapter 5

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hello everyone!
> 
> It's been so cold outside lately,  
> writing about a snowball fight sure felt appropriate.
> 
> Enjoy!

  
So far so good,  
Dean thought as he sketched the outline of another dragon scale.

The being apart, that is, though the dragon looked really impressive as well.  
  
It was a bit weird being the only one in their dormitory,  
but well, it _was_ a Saturday.  
Everyone would be outside, having snowball fights or making snow people while Dean was inside, sitting on his bed.

They’d talked about it and decided that if something were to happen,  
his bed would be the most comfortable and least awkward place to be.  
  
Seamus didn’t need to add _why_ .  
Dean could vividly recall the sight of Seamus’ hand wrapped around-

Dean coughed and sketched out another dragon scale.  
  
⇄

He knew it was going to be uncomfortable and painful, but it was  
uncomfortable  
and painful.  
  
Dean had thrown his sketchbook on the ground some time ago,  
and was now lying on his back,  
trying to control his breathing as the pain slowly turned his body into an uncooperative… vessel, for lack of a better word.

He wanted this,  
Dean remembered himself.

He wanted this because he didn’t want the bond to force Seamus to be close with Dean.  
In the physical sense.  
  
Though it was everything Dean had ever wanted,  
he didn’t want it like this.  
  
He wanted Seamus to touch him because Seamus wanted it too,  
because it turned him on too,  
because he wanted Dean as much as Dean wanted him.

Dean groaned as another wave of pain made his leg cramp up.

His arms were already too stiff to move.  
But he could do this.

⇄  
  
Dean didn’t think he could do this.

His body was burning up,  
the pain and pleasure numbing his body in the best and worst ways possible.  
  
Panting, Dean felt like he couldn’t get enough air inside his lungs.  
He felt like a flame that needed oxygen to burn,

and he didn’t want to find out what would happen if he ran out.

‘S-se-’ Dean tried, but his mouth could barely form the words.  
  
The horrible thought struck Dean that maybe,  
maybe the pain wasn’t so mental after all.

‘S-’ Dean tried again,  
but who would hear him?  
Nobody was around.

Another wave of pleasure pain twisted his guts,  
his limbs,  
and Dean groaned.  
  
Then,  
the sound of someone falling on the ground.

Dean tried to be quiet enough to make out who or what, but the door to the dormitory was already being wrenched open,  
footsteps hurrying towards him  
and then Seamus was crawling onto the bed, dragging his body over Dean’s until they were almost perfectly aligned.

A sob escaped Dean as the pain lessened immediately,  
and he could slowly register other things again,  
like the fresh and cold cinnamon scent which meant Seamus had been outside,  
and the way Seamus was gripping Dean’s arms tightly.

‘Shite, shite, shite,’ Seamus was muttering furiously.  
  
‘Sea-’ Dean croaked, then tried again. ‘Seamus.’

‘Yeah, I’m here. I’m here, mate.’

‘Hurts.’

‘I know, I feckin’ know, I felt it, shite, I felt you hurtin’. This was so stupid, this was a feckin’ stupid idea.’

Seamus sounded close to a panic attack,  
but Dean couldn’t have that because his body was still burning up,  
was still demanding release from the pain.

‘Seamus,’ Dean panted. ‘Burns.’  
  
Seamus leaned back, holding himself up on his arms and staring down at Dean while the words were sinking in.

Dean could see in his friend’s light brown eyes the moment it clicked,  
the moment he felt Dean’s erection pressing against his hip, probably.

Because Seamus’ eyes darkened.

‘It doesn’t hurt anymore?’ Seamus asked carefully.

Dean shook his head.  
‘No, just burning.’

Seamus nodded and, biting his lip in thought,  
looked down at their bodies.  
  
Then he did something Dean had  
never  
expected.

Seamus moved his hips forward,  
slowly dragging their lower bodies against each other.

The spike of pleasure that shot through him made Dean groan, and he immediately closed his eyes,  
afraid he was going to show too much  
as Seamus started moving his hips gently.  
  
Shifting a little, Seamus slotted their hips together perfectly,  
causing their erections to rub against each other.

‘ _Oh_ ,’ Seamus gasped in surprise.

Dean’s eyes flew open at the sound,  
and was met with the most beautiful sight ever.

Eyes half-closed,  
cheeks and lips coloured deliciously red,  
Seamus was rocking their bodies together with an unabashed,  
unashamed  
look of _pleasure_ on his face.  
  
‘ _Nngh_ ,’ Dean groaned in response,  
feeling like every nerve ending on his body was on fire.  
And not in the bad way for once.  
  
Dean wrapped his arms around Seamus’ chest,  
gripping his shirt tightly,  
which made Seamus look down at him.  
  
Their eyes locked for an intense moment,  
a moment where Dean was afraid Seamus might not like what his eyes reflected,  
but whatever Seamus saw mustn’t have been bad  
because Seamus simply held his gaze  
and bit his already red lips.

‘I’m close,’ Seamus moaned,  
the sound sending little shocks of pleasure that went straight to Dean’s cock,  
and he knew he wasn’t far off himself.

Arms shaking,  
and hips moving frantically now,  
Seamus lowered his head from exhaustion and pleasure.  
  
Suddenly Dean’s every harsh breath was met with one of Seamus’  
and there was so little space between their lips that Dean felt it every time they didn’t kiss.

‘Oh,’ Seamus moaned. ‘Oh, _shite_.’

Dean raised his hips to meet Seamus’,  
and then Seamus’ mouth was falling open  
and he was coming,  
the sight so arousing and beautiful that Dean felt himself fall over the edge,  
a deep groan being ripped from his throat at the warmth and pressure between their bodies.  
  
And amidst the pleasure  
and the haze  
Seamus kissed him.

Swallowed the last of Dean’s moan  
and heart.

Body buzzing happily,  
Dean tightened his embrace and pulled Seamus closer,  
allowing Seamus to deepen their kiss,  
to entangle their tongues like they had done with their bodies.

The pain and uncomfortable burning from the bond was gone now,  
and there was only a sweet, satisfied feeling left in-

The bond.  
  
This was all because of the bond.

Immediately, Dean let go of Seamus and pushed him back.

‘Sorry,’ he said as soon as they disconnected. ‘Sorry, that wasn’t- I shouldn’t-’  
  
He saw Seamus frown in confusion.

‘What?’

‘Just now,’ Dean said vaguely. ‘That shouldn’t…’

Seamus frown deepened.

‘Shouldn’t?’  
  
‘Yeah…’ Dean trailed off, not having the heart to explain why they shouldn’t.

Because it wasn’t what Seamus wanted,  
wasn’t because of the right reasons.

‘Shouldn’t?’ Seamus repeated, sitting back. ‘Mate, you were in agony.’  
  
The wrong reasons.

‘Thank you,’ Dean said quietly. ‘For helping. I don’t think it worked though.’

‘I’ll say,’ Seamus muttered. ‘What a shite idea.’

Yes.  
Yes, what they’d done had been a terrible idea.

‘Sorry,’ Dean sighed. ‘You have to be bonded with me for a while longer.’

‘I don’t mind,’ Seamus said. ‘But I do mind forgetting me wand. We’re all gross now.’

Dean’s mind stuttered as he had to catch up.  
‘What?’

‘Do you have your wand?’ Seamus asked patiently.

Dean grabbed it from underneath his bed and handed it over to Seamus,  
who immediately cast a cleaning spell.  
  
‘There,’ Seamus said. ‘Loads better. Now, do you want to join me an’ Neville in a snowball fight? He’s been beating me all day.’

Dean blinked.

Just like that?  
Just like that they were past the-

‘You don’t have to,’ Seamus added. ‘I can understand if yer tired.’

‘No, eh, sure,’ Dean said perplexed.  
  
‘Grand!’ Seamus exclaimed, smiling brightly at Dean,  
like they hadn’t just had the most amazing wank ever.  
Like they weren’t supposed to be just friends  
and _not_ do these sorts of things.

No, Seamus’ smile didn’t convey any of that.

Like always,  
Seamus’ smile just showed Dean how happy Seamus was  
to be with him.

⇄  
  
‘You alright, Dean?’ Neville asked, as Dean and Seamus joined him outside.  
  
_Just worried Seamus might’ve noticed my heavy gay crush on him after wanking me,  
_ _but now that he got off with me,_ _  
_ _I’m not so sure what to think anymore.  
  
_ ‘Yeah, I’m okay,’ Dean answered after a second. ‘And you?’

‘Never been better,’ Neville grinned. ‘I’ve been beating Seamus all day and it’s all thanks to you. If he hadn’t been moaning and groaning, I’m not sure I could have won.’

‘Right,’ Dean said awkwardly.

‘Let’s play another round, shall we?’ Neville asked.  
  
‘We’re _so_ going to beat yer arse!’ Seamus said enthusiastically, bumping Dean’s arm to coax him into the fight.  
  
‘Yes,’ Dean said, still trying to get over the fact that this could happen after _that_ had happened. ‘There will be beating.’

Neville laughed.  
‘Please leave that for the bedroom.’  
And then ran off, quickly scooping up snow to assemble his new ammunition.

‘He-’ Dean spluttered in shock, turning to Seamus. ‘Did you-’

But Seamus was already busy trying to spell snow into snowballs,  
and failing miserably.  
The powdery snow was flying everywhere,  
including nestling itself in Seamus’ fluffy hair.  
  
It looked cute.

And Dean decided to just  
leave it.  
For now.  
  
Who knows?  
Maybe it could be like this,  
where a _that_ happened, followed by a _this_.  
  
‘It’s all in your hair,’ Dean laughed, moving towards Seamus and patting it out of his hair. ‘I understand now why you’ve been losing.’

Seamus giggled,  
and looked up at Dean with bright eyes.  
  
‘I know. It’s ‘cause I need you.’

Dean’s hand stilled.

Something lodged itself inside his throat,  
and Dean’s heart clenched.  
  
Could it even be a possibility?  
To have this kind of relationship with Seamus?

Dean had always thought no,  
but as he looked down at the happiness on Seamus’ face,  
he wondered if maybe it could be-

_Thump._

A snowball hit Dean in the neck.  
  
‘Yes!’ Neville shouted.  
  
Dean looked down at Seamus in surprise.  
  
‘You got some in yer hair,’ Seamus giggled.

‘Yeah, yeah,’ Dean laughed. ‘Let’s beat Neville.’

‘ _Oi,_ ’ Seamus shouted to Neville. ‘We’re going to push yer face in the snow!’

Neville danced tauntingly on his feet.

‘Then you’ve got to stop looking at each other first!’  
  
Dean’s face heated,  
but Seamus merely started scooping up snow and enthusiastically hurling it at Neville,  
who was now doing a little victory dance.

‘Yer just jealous no one looks at yer ugly mug!’ Seamus grinned, charging Neville,  
who danced away.

Dean could see what would happen as he scooped up some snow in his hands,  
and tried to stop it by shouting,  
‘Be caref-’

But Neville slid on some ice  
and fell on the ground.  
Face first.

‘Ha!’ Seamus laughed triumphantly. ‘Told you!’

⇄

Ron had a girlfriend.  
  
Or so he told everyone.

‘Who?’ Seamus asked.

‘Lavender Brown,’ Ron smiled.

‘The one with the brown, curly hair,’ Harry added.

‘Since when does Harry know who that is?’ Dean whispered to Neville.

‘They’ve been snogging everywhere. Kinda hard not to notice, even for Harry,’ Neville whispered back.

Dean raised his eyebrows in surprise, while Seamus asked Ron what had happened.

‘Y’know, when she kissed me after the game, I figured it was time for me to man up and ask her.’

‘Ask her?’ Seamus asked. ‘Was it not clear from the snogging?’

‘Well, maybe… But I wanted to get it right, do _her_ right, you know, by asking her.’

Considering Ron’s words, Seamus nodded thoughtfully.

‘Oh, there she is,’ Neville said, and true to word, Lavender walked up to the group of boys huddled together in front of the fire.

Lavender seemed to take a deep breath,  
before producing such a high-pitched noise, Dean wondered if his hearing would be damaged.

‘My Ronniewonnie!’

Then Lavender all but threw herself into Ron’s arms and started rubbing her head against his shoulder.  
Bit like a cat, Dean thought.

‘I missed you _so much_ , won-won!’

Ron smiled happily at them.  
‘She likes to call me sweet names.’

‘Makes sense,’ Neville said. ‘People give names to things they own.’

Neither Lavender, nor won-won replied,  
choosing to rub their faces toget- oh,  
their mouths now.

Neville frowned at the display,  
but Harry and Seamus both seemed lost in thought.  
Even when the visual came with sounds.

Dean blinked at the absurdity of the situation.

⇄  
  
Still a bit weirded out by seeing Ron and Lavender snog for almost the entire day,  
Dean didn’t think twice before draping his cold body all over the Seamus-sized furnace.

Seamus laughed.

‘Are you cold, Deanwean?’

Dean frowned.  
‘Sounds like Halloween.’

‘Yer right. Mmm… Deannie?’

Ignoring that, Dean forcefully headbutted Seamus’ arm out of the way until Seamus took the hint and draped it over back.

‘How about…’ Seamus continued. ‘Dede?’

Dean snorted.  
‘That’s acceptable, Mumu.’

Seamus froze.

‘...Mumu?’

Dean tried to stop himself from laughing by pressing his face into Seamus’ chest,  
but the shaking of his shoulders probably gave him away.

‘Mumu?’ Seamus repeated teasingly, and Dean could hear him smiling. ‘So that’s how yer playing, is it?’

‘Can’t help that my name is too manly to sweeten up,’ Dean grinned.

‘Too manly…’ Seamus repeated, and Dean felt Seamus’ hands creeping over his back towards his sides. ‘We’ll see who’s manly now!’

And Seamus attacked Dean, and his manliness, by tickling him mercilessly.

Dean squealed in surprise and horror and couldn’t stop his high-pitched laughter.

‘Stopstopstop,’ he laughed.

‘Say my name!’ Seamus yelled.

‘Sorry, mumu!’ Dean gasped, trying to wriggle away from Seamus’ hands.  
  
‘Wrong!’

And the whole torture started again,  
with Seamus exclaiming ‘Say my name!’ like a madman and Dean squeaking “mumu!” over and over again.

Until-

‘Your name is Seamus,’ Neville said testily. ‘Now go to sleep. _Merlin_. You’re no better than Ron and Lavender. The only thing missing is the snogging.’

That shut them up quickly.  
Dean absolutely didn’t want Neville getting the wrong idea, and he guessed Seamus didn’t either.

‘I definitely don’t want to be like Lavender,’ Seamus whispered against Dean’s back, wrapping his arms and legs around him.

Dean tried to stifle his giggle.  
‘Why not?’

‘Don’t think I can rock the hair, mate.’

Dean burst out laughing.

⇄

‘Dean?’ Seamus asked him during breakfast, in a voice that sounded like it was going to be something other than ‘ _pass the bacon_ ’.  
  
‘Yeah?’ Dean answered, reaching for his glass of orange juice at the same time that Seamus did, their hands brushing as Seamus handed it to him.  
  
While Dean tried to keep his expression normal, because getting a spike of pleasure from simply touching Seamus was a bit much,  
Seamus continued like nothing out of the ordinary had happened.

‘Do you want to be with m-’

‘Won-won!’ Lavender exclaimed, running towards Ron and all but throwing Harry off the bench in her haste to attach herself to Ron’s arm. ‘I was waiting for you in the common room, so we could go to breakfast together!’

‘Oh,’ Ron said sheepishly. ‘Sorry, I didn’t know.’  
  
‘You okay, Harry?’ Dean asked, before Lavender could yell something again.

‘Yeah,’ Harry nodded a bit distractedly as he straightened himself on the bench.

Meanwhile, Lavender and Ron were, thankfully, having their conversation at a normal volume, so Dean turned his attention back to Seamus.  
  
‘What was it?’

‘Oh, ‘s nothing much,’ Seamus shrugged, biting his lip nervously. ‘Just checking if we’re okay.’

Dean had a feeling that wasn’t the entire truth,  
but nonetheless he replied,  
‘We’re okay.’

‘Thought so,’ Seamus nodded.

It still looked like he had something on his mind though.

‘We can talk later if you want,’ Dean said quietly, then,  
because he couldn’t help it,  
added in a whisper,  
‘Mumu.’  
  
It had the very much desired effect of Seamus smiling happily at him.  
  
Dean’s heart did a flip inside his chest,  
and it took all Dean had not to sigh like the teenager in love that he was.  
  
‘Hey Dean,’ Neville interrupted his dreamy staring, which wasn’t bad per se. ‘What’re you going to do during the Christmas holidays?’  
  
Dean slowly met Seamus’ eyes,  
which mirrored his own, panicked ones.  
  
After so many years being friends, Dean knew how important it was for Seamus to visit his family during the holidays,  
just like how _his_ mother and sisters were always looking forward to their annual Christmas baking fest.  
  
This _was_ bad.  
  
⇄  
  
Walking towards Transfiguration,  
Seamus suggested,  
‘You could always come over.’

‘Not sure if mom’s okay with that,’ Dean said. ‘She’s not big on traditions, but she loves Christmas.’

Seamus sighed.  
‘My family’s the same. I could try though, ask if I can celebrate Christmas at your place.’

‘Won’t they ask why? Why my place and not yours?’

‘Yeah, yer probably right,’ Seamus said,  
and they both fell silent as they walked to their seats and took out their transfiguration books.

‘Have you told them about the bond?’ Dean asked hesitatingly.

‘No way!’ Seamus said. ‘Mum would have a fit. She’s always goin’ on about how I’m a danger to the world when I’m holding me wand.’

Dean could see that,  
but he wisely didn’t say anything.

‘I didn’t either. Mom would worry too much,’ Dean agreed. ‘Ask too many questions,’ he added with a blush.  
  
To his surprise, when he looked over at Seamus,  
he saw a blush on his freckled cheeks as well.  
  
_Talk about it,  
_ a voice inside his head whispered.  
But what would Dean ask?  
‘ _Are you at all okay with us wanking together as boyfriends?_ ’  
  
Dean’s heart clenched at the idea.  
Boyfriends.  
If only.

⇄  
  
Ducking behind his sketchbook, Dean tried to focus on his nearly finished sketch of the Gryffindor common room and not on the very _wet_ sounds of Lavender and Ron snogging.

He groaned in horror as Lavender made a little whimpering sound,  
and peered behind his sketchbook to see Seamus watching the couple with a sort of disgusted fascination.  
  
‘Are you seriously watching?’ Dean hissed.

Seamus turned towards him.  
‘Just wondering if that’s how yer supposed to snog.’

Dean cast a quick glance at the way Lavender and Ron were latched onto each other,  
their mouths trying their hardest to merge.  
It looked extremely gross.

‘If that’s the case,’ Dean said. ‘Then I don’t want it.’

Seamus giggled.  
‘I’ll say.’

‘Aren’t you supposed to do homework anyway?’ Dean asked, because anything was better than focusing on the snogging.

‘Oh, shite, yer right. I’m still way behind on my divination and potions homework.’

And it struck Dean.

‘That’s it!’ he said excitedly. ‘Tell your parents you have loads of homework to catch up on, and that’s why you’re staying at Hogwarts during Christmas.’

Seamus’ eyes widened in amazement.

‘Yer brilliant!’

Dean smiled teasingly.  
‘Took you this long to figure out?’

But there was nothing teasing about the way Seamus looked at him when he said,  
‘I’ve always thought you’re brilliant.’

Dean quickly ducked behind his sketchbook again,  
heart dancing madly inside his chest.

⇄

‘I’ve written an owl to mum,’ Seamus said, as he slid under the covers and draped himself against Dean’s back.  
His arms and legs were, as per usual, already warm, and Dean subconsciously moved closer into the embrace.

‘We’ll hear it tomorrow then,’ Dean sighed.

For a moment,  
neither of them said anything  
and being the fast sleeper that he usually was, Dean was already drifting off before Seamus’ whisper startled him awake again.

‘It looked really disgusting, didn’t it?’

‘Hmmm?’

‘Their snogging.’

Dean huffed, and laughed sleepily.  
‘That’s an understatement.’

‘With their tongues like… that, I could see spit and everythin-’

‘Ugh,’ Dean groaned. ‘You’re going to give me nightmares.’

Behind him,  
Seamus giggled quietly, warm puffs of air against Dean’s neck.

Because of the jokes, and the laughs,  
Dean hadn’t expected what came next.

‘I want to try,’ Seamus said.

Dean could instantly whip up a list with all the reasons why they _shouldn’t_ ,  
definitely shouldn’t,  
try.

But when Seamus whispered,  
‘Turn around.’  
Dean did.  
  
It was dark,  
but Dean could vaguely make out Seamus’ face, inches from his.  
  
Their legs were still intertwined underneath the covers,  
and the arm across Dean’s chest now slid over his shoulder  
until Seamus very softly rested his hand against Dean’s cheek.  
  
Dean felt Seamus’ breath touching his lips  
as he asked,  
‘Do you want to try?’

It smelled like peppermint.  
Seamus’ toothpaste, Dean noticed.  
  
‘Still unsure about the petnames,’ Dean said hoarsely,  
because he couldn’t bring it in himself  
to say no to this.  
Seamus laughed briefly.

Dean wouldn’t mind Seamus’ smile touching his lips,  
but instead of going straight for it,  
Seamus moved forward slowly,  
moving his hand to cup Dean’s neck and pull him forward too.  
  
Seamus’ lips ghosted over his,  
and Dean felt like  
holding his breath  
was an inaccurate expression,  
because nerves were squeezing his throat so tightly that he couldn’t breathe even if he wanted to.

And then, with the barest touch of skin on skin,  
Seamus closed the distance between their lips.

Nothing would ever compare to this,  
Dean knew.

Seamus’ fingers played with the little hairs in Dean’s neck as he started sliding their lips together,  
just as slowly as he’d initiated the kiss,  
and Dean was helpless but to follow his lead, heart racing inside his chest.

Something warm and wet touched Dean’s lip briefly,  
just a small touch,  
but Dean had been waiting for this,  
had dreamed about this for _years_ ,  
and so opened his mouth slightly.  
  
Seamus’ hand tightened on his neck as his tongue slid inside Dean’s mouth,  
and carefully moved it in a slow circle, Dean following without thinking.

He wasn’t really thinking anymore, anyway,  
and so allowed himself to grab onto Seamus’ back and pull him closer.

Their tongues were sliding together in a way that was making Dean’s head spin,  
and he heard Seamus breathing harshly.

Dean wondered if they were making too much noise,  
but then Seamus finally took his hint and moved on top of him.  
  
Dean groaned,  
the sound muffled between their mouths.  
  
Seamus’ hand slipped underneath Dean’s shirt,  
touching his overheated skin,  
while pressing their bodies closer.

It shouldn’t surprise Dean when he felt Seamus’ erection pressing into his hip,  
but he gasped all the same,  
pleasure shooting through his body.

Seamus getting hard because of their snogging was seriously doing things to him.

Seamus interpreted his gasp differently however, starting to lean back, but Dean immediately followed his mouth  
and took over the kiss by sliding his tongue inside Seamus’ mouth.  
  
The little moan Seamus made, made Dean tighten his hold on Seamus’ shoulders  
and use his summers of training to flip them over.  
  
Heat that was entirely his own coursed through his body,  
blood boiling,  
and Dean gripped Seamus’ legs, pushing them apart and moving between them.  
  
At the first press of their erections together,  
Seamus moaned,  
louder this time,  
Dean’s mind reeling from-

‘I get that Dean forgets sometimes,’ Neville said. ‘But honestly, a silencing spell would’ve been nice.’

Dean froze,  
and leaning back, saw that Seamus was looking wide-eyed at him.  
  
Their harsh breaths were painfully obvious in the silent dormitory.  
  
‘Sorry,’ Seamus said, sounding so breathless that Dean had to bite his lip to keep from making any sound, because it brought his mind back to what had caused it,  
what they had been doing-

What they could absolutely not do again.

Dean knew that while it was probably just experimenting for Seamus,  
it would end up with Dean’s heart in a million pieces,  
and he had no idea if he would find them all back.  
  
So he moved off of Seamus,  
and lied down on his back beside him.

‘How are you?’ Seamus whispered after a few seconds of silence.

‘Tired,’ Dean lied,  
closing his eyes.

⇄

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Why do I always end the smut with angst? 
> 
> Anyways, hope you enjoyed this chapter too! Next one will be the last one I think...
> 
> Thanks for reading so far!  
> If you want, let me know what you thought about this chapter or the story!! <3


	6. Chapter 6

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hey guys!
> 
> Sooo, it's the final chapter... I'll leave the ramblings for later,  
> for now enjoy!

  
The most frustrating thing about the bond wasn’t the pain or the awkward heat,  
but the fact that Dean wanted to avoid Seamus for a little while, needing his space,  
but couldn’t,  
because the bond would force them back together in the most intimate of ways.   
  
His mother’s owl landed in front of his dinner,  
and Dean felt conflicted as he read that while he was most missed,  
it was very responsible of him to focus on studying in preparation for his last year.   
  
Dean sighed,  
not sure if he was up to spending the entirety of the holidays with Seamus.

He heard someone beside him sigh as well,  
and when Dean looked over, saw Hermione was already watching him.

‘You okay?’ she asked softly.

Dean watched the weariness,  
and unexpected sadness  
in her eyes and decided to be honest.

‘Not really.’

Hermione nodded, like she knew more of his situation that she’d let on.

‘How about you?’ Dean asked.

She smiled sadly.  
‘Not really.’  
  
Across the table, Ron was trying his best to shovel his dinner into his mouth as fast as he could, probably so he could get his mouth on Lavender again, who was rubbing his shoulders.  
  
Hermione shot them a pained glance.

‘I’m not sure it’s better what you have,’ Hermione said quietly. ‘But I think I would prefer it.’

And Dean could see that.

He felt stupid now,  
complaining about his situation while he got to hold and kiss Seamus, everything being like normal,  
with the only exception being the increase in their physical intimacy.

While Seamus might see it as his best friend’s duty, or as some sort of experiment,  
it was all voluntary.

But it would still lead to nowhere.

‘Depends on when you want to be hurting,’ Dean replied. ‘Now, or later.’

‘You’re right,’ Hermione said. ‘Sorry. It just seems like the better option.’

‘I know,’ Dean said. ‘I think it sort of is.’

‘What would you do, if I told you I might know a cure?’

Dean’s head snapped towards her in shock.  
Hermione was watching him carefully.

‘I’d want it,’ Dean answered.

‘I have two theories,’ Hermione said. ‘One, you try to counter the spell. Try the exact opposite.’

‘We tried to stay apart,’ Dean answered. ‘Didn’t work.’  
  
‘No, I meant with magic. Wands,’ Hermione explained. ‘Or two, you complete the circle.’

Dean watched Seamus reaching for another batch of potatoes,  
leaning forward,  
and understood.

‘You want me to use the same spell on him.’  
  
‘It’s risky though,’ Hermione added.

But they couldn’t continue like this.  
Dean knew that.

‘Thank you,’ he said.

‘Please keep Madam Pomfrey updated,’ Hermione said. ‘And don’t try this on your own.’

Dean smiled.  
‘You sound like you’re from TV.’

Hermione smiled too,  
but she still looked a bit sad.

Dean wished he could do something to cheer her up as well.  
  
⇄  
  
The perfect opportunity presented itself during their last Hogsmeade visit before the holidays.   
  
Dean, Seamus and Neville were visiting shop after shop for the best Christmas deals when Dean noticed Lavender hanging around the jewelry shop.

‘I’ll be right back,’ he said to them and followed her in, walking as quietly as he could so he could creep closer.

Lavender was looking at all kinds of necklaces.  
Whatever they were, Dean could tell with one glance that they were all kinds of _ugly_.

‘Hey Lavender,’ he greeted her cheerily.  
  
She jumped in surprise.

‘Dean.’  
  
She didn’t sound exceptionally happy to see him,  
but then again, Dean didn’t exactly _like_ her either.   
After she’d gone with Seamus to the Yule ball _and_ told everyone about it multiple times,  
he’d had a hard time remaining neutral towards her.   
  
‘Is that a Christmas present for Ron?’ he asked, faking his enthusiasm.

Lavender watched him warily.  
‘Yes… I was thinking of getting him a necklace.’  
  
‘That’s great!’ Dean exclaimed, and pointed towards a heart shaped one with the text ‘ _my sweetheart’_ written on it, knowing Ron would hate it.  
‘How about that one?’

Lavender squealed as she picked it up to take a closer look.

‘It’s _adorable_ ,’ she smiled. ‘Won-won will _love_ it.’   
  
‘I’m sure he will,’ Dean smiled. ‘Better buy it now before it’s sold out.’

‘You’re right,’ Lavender said, all serious, and immediately took the box towards the counter. 

 _You’re welcome, Hermione_ ,  
Dean thought as he quietly exited the shop again.

‘Looking for jewelry, Dean?’ Neville asked. ‘I didn’t know you liked that.’

‘I don’t,’ Dean answered. ‘And Ron doesn’t either.’

Neville looked at him curiously.  
‘Why are you talking about Ron?’

Dean saw Seamus looking behind him, at the jewelry shop,  
and so could pinpoint the moment it clicked.

‘Oohh,’ Seamus grinned. ‘That’s so unlike you.’

‘I have no idea what you’re talking about,’ Dean said. ‘I was 0nly helping her.’

Seamus shook his head, laughing, while Neville asked in confusion,  
‘Who?’

‘Hermione. I’ll tell you about it later.’

It seemed like Neville wasn’t ready to let it go  
so Seamus quickly said,  
‘Yeah! This’ll be our first Christmas together!’

‘You say that like there’ll be more,’ Dean said.

He couldn’t help the way his chest warmed at the thought.

‘I should hope so,’ Neville answered. ‘I want to keep in touch after Hogwarts.’

‘Are you going to throw Christmas parties?’ Dean laughed.  
  
‘That’s not a bad idea,’ Neville said.

‘Yeah,’ Seamus agreed. ‘More presents.’

‘The point of Christmas is not the presents,’ Dean said in mock exasperation. ‘It’s about spending it with the people you love.’

‘I know,’ Seamus smiled, bumping his arm against Dean’s. ‘That’s why I’m looking forward to this one.’

Whatever Dean had wanted to say next got stuck in his throat,  
and he wondered why he had ever thought spending Christmas with Seamus  
was a bad thing.  
  
⇄  
  
Dean told Seamus what Hermione had proposed.  
  
‘Let’s try it,’ Seamus said in a serious tone.

Dean watched his best friend’s face for a moment,  
watched the freckles,  
the dark eyelashes,  
the light brown eyes  
and the pale lips.

He had been in love with Seamus since their second year,  
and had never ever thought he would get to experience what he’d experienced these past weeks.   
  
There was absolutely no guarantee that what they had was going to continue or that it was going to work out,   
but he’d rather figure it out _without_ the bond.   
  
‘We should tell Madam Pomfrey,’ Dean said. ‘So she can supervise.’

‘And let her hurt you again?’ Seamus frowned. ‘No, thank you.’

‘She was only trying to help. Like we’d asked her to do.’

But Seamus wasn’t convinced.  
‘She’ll probably say no anyway. Fighting wild magic with wild magic doesn’t sound like the best plan.’

Seamus had a point.  
  
‘But it’s going to be risky trying it on our own,’ Dean argued. ‘I still think we can convince her if we try.’

‘How about we try in an empty classroom near the hospital wing?’ Seamus proposed. ‘That way, she’ll be close if anything goes wrong.’

Dean sighed.  
‘It’s not the best solution, but I’ll take the compromise.’  
  
⇄  
  
‘Bit weird, yeah?’

They were standing opposite each other in the empty classroom, wands at the ready.

Seamus looked uncertainly at Dean.

‘Weird how?’ Dean asked.

‘This bond ending. I mean, I hate seeing you in pain, but I kinda liked knowing what you were feeling an’ all that.’

Dean’s eyebrows shot up in surprise.  
‘I thought it was only strong emotions?’

A faint blush coloured Seamus’ cheeks.

‘At first…’

Oh no.  
Had Seamus felt all the subtle emotions too?

‘You could’ve told me,’ Dean said, feeling uncomfortable.

‘I didn’t want you to feel bad,’ Seamus said, starting to pull nervously at his sleeves. ‘You had it bad enough already.’

‘All the more reason to end this,’ Dean said, and added in a quiet voice, ‘Since when do we lie to each other?’

Because it wasn’t just Seamus.  
Dean hadn’t told everything either.  
  
‘I’m sorry-’ Seamus started,  
but Dean shook his head.

‘Not mad. Just… Let’s end this spell already, okay?’

Seamus nodded.   
  
‘Which one are we trying out first?’

‘I think it’s safer to try and complete the circle,’ Dean said. ‘If you’re okay with it.’

‘I’m okay with everything,’ Seamus said.

Dean thought his voice sounded a little strangled,  
and wondered why.  
He’d ask later.

Dean closed his eyes and took a deep breath,  
visualizing the raw magic as something that flowed through him,  
then focused all of his magic through his arm and into his wand.

Here goes.  
Opening his eyes again, Dean pointed his wand at Seamus.  
Seamus didn’t flinch or shift on his feet,  
trusting that whatever Dean would hit him with would be okay.   
  
‘Close,’ Dean said, and swished his wand shortly.

Seamus blinked.  
‘I don’t feel anything.’

‘At all?!’ Dean asked in alarm.

‘No no, there’s nothing different,’ Seamus quickly said. ‘I felt your concern though.’

‘So it didn’t work…’

‘Hey,’ Seamus smiled warmly at him. ‘Don’t give up so quickly.’

Dean nodded,  
and closed his eyes again, taking a deep breath before-  
  
‘Close!’   
  
Even though Seamus shook his head, his smile stayed.  
  
‘I can feel yer frustration. Sorry.’

Dean sighed loudly.

‘Maybe we should try something else.’

‘I’m good to try one more time though.’ 

An exasperated smile made its way onto Dean’s face,  
even though there shouldn’t be anything funny about this situation.

It was just always hard to stay negative around Seamus.  
  
‘Of course you are,’ Dean said fondly. ‘Alright, I’ll try one more time.’

‘Besides,’ Seamus began as Dean closed his eyes. ‘There are worse things than being bonded, right?’

No.

The word bubbled up in Dean’s throat.

No, if Dean ever wanted to have a shot at confessing,  
at having a proper relationship with Seamus,  
the bond had to go.   
  
No way was Seamus touching him again out of _necessity._   
  
The thought was just so shameful that Dean’s insides twisted uncomfortably  
and before he’d taken a deep breath or focused all his magic to his wand,  
he’d already flicked his wand at Seamus with a force he hadn’t meant to use.   
  
‘ _Close!’_

Dean heard Seamus stumble and immediately opened his eyes.

Seamus’ body was glowing,  
a soft amber light,  
and Dean vaguely remembered those weeks ago, in the hospital wing, Seamus telling him he’d seen a bright orange light after he’d hit Dean with the spell.

Did this mean it was working?

Dean felt stupid thinking it,  
but the way Seamus’ fair skin was glowing  
looked _magical_.

When Seamus’ eyes met his, shining so brightly,  
it wasn’t the bond that drew Dean closer.   
  
‘Mate,’ Seamus whispered. ‘Yer shining.’

Dean looked down at his hands,  
and sure enough, a bright orange light,  
brighter than Seamus’ soft amber glow,  
was making his entire skin glow.

Was this what Seamus’ magic looked like?  
  
‘You too,’ Dean said in wonder.  
  
‘It’s gorgeous,’ Seamus said in awe, watching his own hands and arms, and Dean had to fight against the urge to tell him that he was.

Then Seamus smiled brightly at him and reached out his hand.  
  
Their skin touched,  
and it felt like submerging in a hot bath,  
a warm and comfortable shiver running through Dean’s body.

The glow started to dissolve slowly in the way that dandelions fly,  
and Dean watched the little flecks float away  
until it was just Seamus light hand holding Dean’s darker one,  
until it was just them.

‘Did it work?’ Dean whispered.

‘Sure looked like it,’ Seamus giggled, eyes shining brightly as he looked at Dean.

‘I’ll go… outside,’ Dean said hesitatingly. ‘Fly around a bit.’

The brightness in Seamus’ eyes dimmed a little, but he nodded and smiled nonetheless.  
Because he was Seamus,  
and would never tell Dean what he couldn’t do.

Only what he could.  
  
⇄  
  
Dean was practically freezing,  
having been up on his broom for close to two hours now.   
  
And nothing.

There was nothing to add.

It was just Dean Thomas, sixth year Gryffindor, on his broom in the cold winter air,  
_freezing_.

It had worked.  
  
⇄  
  
When Dean entered the common room,  
Seamus immediately jumped to his feet.   
  
‘Yer back!’

It was hard not to smile.

‘Yeah, and freezing,’ Dean complained.  
  
‘Let’s sit by the fire,’ Seamus smiled, already plopping back down on the couch.  
  
Sitting down beside him, Dean leaned forward to warm his hands,  
only to find his left hand being grabbed and held between Seamus’ hands.   
Which were a lot warmer.

‘Better?’ Seamus asked.

Because it still felt as amazing as before,  
when the bond had forced them to hold hands,   
Dean took back his hand.

He hadn’t wanted to start this conversation so soon,  
but when would ever be a good time?   
  
‘Seamus,’ Dean said seriously.

Instead of frowning or looking confused,  
Seamus simply nodded.  
‘I get it. It’s too weird now.’

Yes and no.  
And Dean had no idea which of the two he should say.   
  
‘I don’t think it’s weird what happened,’ he said slowly. ‘But it definitely wasn’t how I expected...’

Seamus laughed.  
‘I know what you mean.’   
  
Dean had a feeling Seamus didn’t exactly know what he meant,  
but his hands were clammy  
and shaking,  
and he felt _so_ nervous.

How could he ever tell Seamus?  
  
‘Want to play exploding snaps?’ Seamus asked.

‘Yeah,’ Dean said,  
taking the out like a coward.   
  
⇄  
  
That night,  
Dean watched Seamus grab his pyjamas from Dean’s bed and stare at it with a frown on his face.

‘This is strange,’ Seamus muttered.

Dean was so taken back by the sad look in Seamus’ eyes,  
that it took a while before he noticed the way Seamus’ hands were pulling nervously at his pyjamas.   
  
Dean agreed though.   
It _was_ weird to lie down in his own bed after so many weeks of sharing.   
  
It suddenly felt so much larger.

Dean watched as Seamus reluctantly changed out of his clothes.  
  
Chucking his shirt into his trunk, Seamus reached for his shirt  
and presented Dean with a long look at his lean back.

Dean swallowed.  
  
It was fine.   
His back,  
but also that they weren’t sharing beds anymore.

Because images of Seamus lying on top of him,  
cheeks flushed and panting-  
The sound of Seamus’ trousers falling on the floor beside his trunk startled Dean out of his thoughts,  
and he definitely felt bad,  
but that didn’t mean he could stop looking at Seamus’ arse in those tight, dark green boxers.   
  
What a wonderful,  
absolutely stunning  
colour.

Dean felt his cheeks heat up, together with his entire body it seemed.

His mind wasn’t really helping as it reminded him what it felt like   
when Seamus warm breath ghosted over his neck,  
or when his hands _willingly_ slipped underneath Dean’s shirt.  
  
Who would do that  
if they weren’t even the least bit attracted?

‘No,’ Dean said suddenly. ‘I don’t think it’s the same.’

Seamus turned around.  
‘What’s not?’

‘I don’t think you know what I meant...’

Seamus didn’t immediately respond.

He probably noticed Dean nervously wiping his clammy hands against the covers, before he sat up a little straighter.  
  
‘It wasn’t weird for me,’ Dean said, throat extremely dry. ‘It was wonderful and horrible.’

‘Horrible?’

‘Yes,’ Dean said. ‘Because you didn’t want to touch me like that.’

‘I didn’t do anything I didn’t want-’

‘I know,’ Dean interrupted him. ‘You did it because I was hurting, and because you could help me. I know you wanted to help.’

Seamus looked a little uncertain.  
‘And you don’t want me to help you?’

Dean knew he was skirting around the truth,  
and definitely didn’t feel brave enough to say what he was going to.  
  
But he did, anyway.   
  
‘I want you to touch me because you like it. Because you want it.’

Dean immdiately dropped his gaze, unable to look Seamus in the eyes.   
He heard him take a step closer though.

‘So…’ Seamus said slowly, moving towards the bed. ‘What would be a right reason to touch you?’

The bed dipped when Seamus’ leaned his knee on the mattress,  
and Dean swallowed as he looked up at him.

‘Would it be right if I wanted to touch yer hand because it feels nice?’ Seamus asked.

Dean nodded.

Like he’d done this afternoon, Seamus grabbed his hands,  
but instead of warming them up,   
Seamus used his grip to slowly pushed Dean backwards,  
until he was lying on his back.   
  
‘Alright if I wanted to touch yer lips?’ Seamus asked.   
  
The immediate answer was yes,  
but still Dean asked nervously,  
‘Why?’

Seamus gave him a shy smile.  
  
‘Because I like kissing you.’

Good enough for Dean.  
  
He nodded in response, already leaning forward to meet Seamus halfway.   
  
Seamus kissed him softly,  
almost shyly.

Dean felt his heart flutter inside his chest.  
  
‘Still feels the same,’ Seamus murmured, leaning back.

‘What?’ Dean asked hazily.  
  
‘There’s no bond, but it feels the same. I mean, I knew I liked you, but kissing you just makes me realize how much. I was worried it was because of the bond an’ all that.’   
  
Dean gaped at Seamus like a fish for a good minute or so.

‘You k-knew-’

‘Well, yeah. I have thought about you loads… like inappropriately too,’ Seamus said honestly. ‘But I wasn’t sure if it was… worth to maybe lose our friendship over.’

It was like Dean wasn’t really hearing the words correctly,  
because this couldn’t be right.   
His mind found it impossible to even consider the thought that Seamus had been in love with him for longer than…

So Dean decided to ask something that wouldn’t require lots of thinking.  
  
‘Inappropriately?’

Seamus blushed.  
‘Yeah, you know…’   
  
Seamus slid his hand underneath Dean’s shirt,  
resting it against his stomach.   
  
‘Like this,’ Seamus whispered, looking down at his hand.   
  
Dean couldn’t help the breathless laugh.

‘ _This_ is what you wank to?’

Though Dean’s own cheeks were burning, it was somewhat satisfying to see Seamus entire face light up  
as he spluttered,  
‘W-well no, ‘course not. I think about other things too!’   
  
Still overly aware of the fact that Seamus was sitting in Dean’s lap in only his boxers,  
Dean put his hand on Seamus’ hip.   
  
It felt surreal.   
  
‘What else?’ Dean whispered.

Seamus breathed in sharply.  
  
‘Will this… ruin our friendship?’  
  
But even though he had asked, Seamus’ hand was already roaming over Dean’s skin,  
fingers slightly ticklish as they slid up Dean’s side and over his nipples.   
  
Dean shivered.  
  
‘I don’t want it to,’ he said quietly.

‘Me neither,’ Seamus said, watching his hand move underneath Dean’s shirt.  
He paused however,  
and looked up.

‘Then it won’t,’ he said determinedly. ‘We’ll still be friends.’

Dean’s heart fell inside his chest.  
Still be friends?  
Wasn’t the whole point of them doing this, _finally_ talking about it, to determine whether or not they were going to be more than friends?

Would this only be a one time thing?

Seamus pushed Dean’s shirt up shyly,  
quickly bringing Dean back to the present.

Dean held up his arms so he could take it off.

‘Gonna kiss you again,’ Seamus said, throwing Dean’s shirt somewhere behind him.

‘Thanks for the heads up,’ Dean smiled,  
deciding that  
if it was going to be a one time thing,  
at least it was entirely willingly.   
Both of them knowing how they felt and what they wanted.   
  
And right now, Dean wanted Seamus.   
  
Their lips met in a warm kiss that quickly turned hot and fast,  
like it was finally time to stop messing around.

Seamus was frantically pulling on Dean’s pants  
and before Dean had registered that they were off, Seamus was all over him again, kissing his mouth,  
neck  
and chest.

But now that they were both in their boxers,  
everything suddenly felt a bit daunting.

Dean had no idea what Seamus wanted to do.

But Seamus made it clear pretty fast,  
gripping Dean through his boxers and making a frustrated noise that meant he wanted them gone.

Dean couldn’t help but smile  
as he watched Seamus lean back and start pawing at Dean’s boxers.

Even while properly horny,  
Seamus was still himself.

Dean sat up and stilled Seamus’ hands.  
‘Stop. It’s not going to work if you’re being so frantic.’

Seamus looked a little sheepish.  
‘Sorry. I just want to touch you so badly.’

Just.  
There was nothing ‘just’ about Dean’s full body shiver after hearing those words.

Wasting no time, Dean hooked his fingers behind the waistband of Seamus’ boxers  
and pulled them down.

He didn’t want to make Seamus uncomfortable by staring,  
but Dean did stare.  
A bit.

‘Mate,’ Seamus whispered. ‘Can you… do something?’

Right.  
Dean’s eyes snapped up, away from the sight of Seamus’ hard cock.   
  
He saw Seamus biting his lip nervously.

Combined with the heavy flush and fast breaths,  
it looked sexy however,  
and Dean got the urge to press kisses all over Seamus’ stomach and…

Maybe it wasn’t the best idea to ease Seamus’ nerves,  
but Dean decided to just go with his gut feeling.

He pressed a kiss to Seamus’ stomach.

And another,  
and another,  
kissing his way down the freckled, shivering skin.

Seamus was shifting his hips forward,   
so Dean decided to stop teasing and dragged his tongue against the underside of Seamus’ cock.   
  
When he reached the head, he gave it a few experimental licks.  
  
‘ _Ohhh_ ,’ Seamus moaned.

It sounded like encouragement,  
so Dean took him into his mouth  
and started to move his head up and down.   
  
Seamus’ hand flew to his shoulders as he leaned forward,  
breathing heavily.

‘Dean, _Dean_ , not gonna last,’ Seamus moaned.

Using his hand to jerk what his mouth couldn’t reach,  
Dean sucked on the head for a bit before going down again.

A choked off moan sounded above him,  
and Seamus’ hips were stuttering as he came.

Dean did try to swallow, but it was a bit much and didn’t taste all that great, so he quickly pulled off and jerked Seamus through the aftershocks.

‘ _Feck_ ,’ Seamus groaned. ‘You still have yer boxers on.’

What?

‘Why’s that-’

‘I wanted to do all kinds of sexy things together,’ Seamus whined.

Dean hadn’t expected to laugh so soon after giving his first blowjob,  
but well,  
it was Seamus.  
‘Course he would.

‘At least now it’s my turn!’ Seamus said suddenly,  
like he’d only just realized.

Before Dean could protest that it wasn’t necessary,  
Seamus had pushed him back and was crawling down his body.   
  
‘Oh wait,’ Seamus said, crawling back up and pressing a quick kiss to Dean’s lips before moving down again.

Dean shook his head.  
‘You’re a bit weird somet- _nnggh_.’

Without warning, Seamus had all but swallowed Dean’s cock down.  
  
Dean now understood a bit better why Seamus had come so quickly.

The hot, wet feeling of Seamus’ mouth was-

 _nngh_   
  
Seamus released his cock with a wet pop,  
apparently determined to not let Dean finish his sentences or thoughts.   
  
So Dean didn’t try to think as Seamus lowered his head again,  
taking Dean back into his mouth,  
slower this time.   
  
In a way it was better and worse.

‘ _Mmm_ ,’ Seamus moaned as he bobbed his head slowly.   
  
Dean’s hands gripped the sheets tightly to stop himself from coming before he could warn Seamus.   
  
When Dean looked up, his words died in his throat however.

He saw Seamus tongue slip out, dragging it over the head and down,  
before taking him in again, while moaning in pleasure.   
  
‘ _Seamus_ ,’ Dean panted,  
extremely close  
close  
so close.   
  
He had to warn him _now_.

‘Oh!’ Seamus said suddenly, slipping off. ‘I totally forgot! I wanted to ask-’  
  
‘ _Nnggh_ ,’ Dean groaned as he came, body spasming from the intense pleasure.   
  
After a hazy second or two,  
Dean wondered why Seamus had stop-

Oh no.

Quickly moving to sit up, Dean froze when he saw Seamus,  
whose eyes were wide and…  
whose face and hair were covered in spunk.

_Oh no._

They locked eyes  
and for a painful moment,  
nobody said anything.

‘Sor-’ Dean started,  
at the same time that Seamus burst out laughing.  
  
‘You should see yer face!’ Seamus laughed. ‘Like yer mum walked in!’

‘What? You should see _your_ face,’ Dean said. ‘You’re covered in…’

‘Come?’ Seamus said seriously,  
then burst out laughing again.  
‘I know mate, I was close enough to see it happening.’   
  
Dean burst out laughing too.

‘I’m sorry, though,’ he laughed. ‘I wanted to warn you, but- Wait. What did you want to ask me?’  
  
‘Oh, I wanted to ask you for a while now if you wanted to be my boyfriend.’

Dean’s heart stopped for a second  
as he repeated Seamus’ words in his head.

‘What?’ he said in shock.

‘Yeah, er,’ Seamus said. ‘Can I ask it without…’ he gestured towards his face and hair,  
and Dean nodded quickly, grabbing his wand from the nightstand.

‘No,’ Seamus said, ‘Let’s take a shower.’

‘Now?’ Dean squeaked, nearly dropping his wand.  
  
Seamus moved to his feet and walked buck naked towards the bathroom,  
pausing near the door.

‘Glad yer not complaining about the together bit.’

Dean stared at him for a second,  
then scrambled out of bed too.

⇄  
  
Dean hovered awkwardly at the shower stall,  
unsure about whether or not he should just… join.   
  
But watching the way water dripped down Seamus’ lean back, down to the curve of his arse-   
  
Yeah, joining was better than staring.   
  
‘Is it all gone?’ Seamus asked, turning towards him.

It was a miracle that even when wet, a few strands of Seamus’ hair were still sticking up defiantly.   
A bit like Seamus, Dean thought.   
Even when the situation was looking down,  
Seamus saw the upside.   
  
Stop comparing your best friend to unruly hair.

Searching through the strands, Dean found nothing… like that.  
  
‘It’s gone,’ he said.

‘Grand,’ Seamus smiled.   
He took a careful step forward,   
and Dean was extremely aware of the way their chests were pressed together.

‘Now I can ask you.’

Dean felt his nerves returning,  
but when he met Seamus’ bright eyes,  
and didn’t focus on the decidedly wet and naked body pressed against his,  
the nerves didn’t feel so bad.

Dean shyly put his arms around Seamus.  
  
Seamus smiled brightly in return,  
wrapping his arms around Dean’s neck and pulling him forward into another kiss.

This one was everything the past kisses hadn’t been.

Sweet,  
slow  
and savouring.

Seamus sighed happily.  
  
‘Weren’t you supposed to ask me something?’ Dean murmured against his lips.

‘Oh yeah,’ Seamus said, leaning back. ‘Sorry, got carried away.’

‘No problem.’

If Dean could wait for four years,  
he could wait for a few more minutes too.  
Especially if they were spent kissing Seamus.

A cute blush spread across Seamus’ cheeks when he looked up at Dean,  
eyes a bit uncertain  
as he asked,  
‘Will you be my boyfriend?’   
  
Dean had never thought he would get to hear it.   
  
‘Yes,’ Dean said quietly.

Seamus smiled widely,  
and Dean’s heart jumped inside his chest.   
  
Was it possible to feel this happy?  
  
‘Does this mean you’ll stop calling me mate?’ Dean asked, trying to distract himself from this intense and weightless feeling of being so happy.

Seamus looked a bit offended.  
‘Never.’

Dean laughed,  
letting the feeling take over.

⇄  
  
After the holidays,  
they were all sitting in the common room, talking about their families, what presents they got and what they’d been doing these past two weeks.

Hermione leaned closer to Dean.  
‘I take it it didn’t work?’

Dean looked at her in confusion, before he noticed her looking towards his hand,  
which was held sweetly by Seamus.

Seanus’ thumb was stroking the back of Dean’s hand absentmindedly.

‘Oh,’ Dean blushed. ‘About that…’

‘And what did you get for Christmas, Seamus?’ Neville asked before Dean could answer her.

Seamus didn’t hesitate for one second.  
  
‘A boyfriend!’ he grinned, holding up their intertwined hands like a prize.

Dean felt his face flush and frantically tried to disappear inside his shirt.

Hermione was smiling at him.

‘Congratulations,’ she said, breaking the silence, and immediately all the others were joining and congratulating them too.  
  
Dean didn’t know where to look,  
feeling too embarrassed to look anyone in the face really,  
so he turned towards Seamus instead.   
  
As always,  
Seamus was smiling at him.   
The kind of smile that made Dean breathless.  
That made his nerves disappear.

That made Dean smile back.  
  
‘I was wondering why they were holding hands,’ Harry mused.

⇄

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Let me start off by saying thank you for the wonderful support!! <3 
> 
> I hadn't expected to fall so in love with this ship, partly because it's not the most popular, but getting to hear your reactions, talking with you about deamus has really made writing this story super fun! 
> 
> Thanks for reading <3
> 
> (and you can always ramble to/follow me on tumblr (idnis.tumblr.com) or twitter (@idnis9)


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